Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 2: "The Lorelais' First Day at Chilton" Quotes
(just arriving at Chilton)
Rory: I remember it being smaller.
Lorelai: Yeah. And less
Rory: "Off with their heads."
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: What are you looking at?
Lorelai: Uh, I'm just trying to see if there's a hunchback up in that bell tower.
Lorelai: Hey, what do you think of Luke?
Rory: What do you mean?
Lorelai: I mean, do you think he's cute?
Rory: Oh, no. No way.
Lorelai: No way what?
Rory: You cannot date Luke.
Lorelai: I said nothing about dating Luke.
Rory: If you date him, you'll break up, and we'll never be able to eat there again.
Lorelai: I repeat, I said nothing about dating Luke.
Rory: Date Al from Pancake World, his food stinks.
Lorelai: I cannot believe what I'm hearing. Al's food does not stink, Al stinks.
(to Emily) Well, we like our internet slow, ok. We can turn it on, walk around, do a little dance, make a sandwich. With DSL there's no dancing, no walking and we'd starve. It'd be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom?
Michel: Once again, your faithful pooch is here to say: Please come back to the desk. Someone needs to talk with you.
Lorelai: It's not my mother, is it?
Michel: It's possible.
(Lorelai turns to see the man she met at Chilton standing at the front desk
Lorelai: It's possible?
Michel: There's a resemblance.
Excuse me. There's a phone call for you, and if I am to fetch you like a dog, I'd like a cookie and a raise.
Michel
Lorelai: You are an amazing kid. You have earned this. You just go in there and show them what smart really is. I love you. Just call me if you need me.
Rory: You're kidding, right?
Lorelai: No. Call me if you need anything. I'm great at making up dirty cheers.
Lorelai: So, I brought us some coffee.
Rory: Why, I'm shocked.
Lorelai: Triple caf, easy foam. And if that doesn't work, we'll stick our fingers in a light socket.
Lorelai: (to harpist) Drella, please, a little softer.
Drella: Hey, do I look like I got "Panasonic" stamped on my ass?
(glances at her fuzzy clock) This is the last time I buy anything just because it's furry.
Rory: (grabs her pillow) It's 7:10!
Lorelai: (grabs the pillow back) Stop it! It's a quarter to six.
Rory: No, it's not!
Lorelai: Yes, it is! I set the clock for a quarter to six so it's. . .
(Rory grabs the clock and shows her the time)
Lorelai: It's 7:10! Dammit.
Headmaster Charleston: Why do you wish to be Christiane Amanpour?
Rory: Well, I don't wish to be her, exactly. I just want to do what she does.
Headmaster Charleston: Which is?
Rory: Um....travel, see the world up close, be part of something big.
Headmaster Charleston: And in order to be part of something big, you have to be on TV? Why not lead the police on a high-speed chase? That's a quicker way to achieve your goal.
Rory: Being on TV has nothing to do with it. Maybe I'll become a journalist and write books and articles about what I see. I just want to make sure that I see....something. (pauses) You'll notice that the debating team is also missing from my resume.
Headmaster Charleston: I've known your grandparents for quite some time.
Rory: I know.
Headmaster Charleston: I was at a party at their house just last week, where I had some of the best lobster puffs I have ever eaten. I'm very fond of them.
Rory: That's nice.
Headmaster Charleston: None of this, however, will be of any benefit to you. Chilton has one of the highest academic standards of any school in America. You may have been the smartest girl in Stars Hollow, but this is a different place. The pressures are greater, the rules are stricter, and the expectations are higher. If you make it through, you will have received one of the finest educations one can get. However, since you are starting late and are not used to this highly competitive atmosphere, there is a good chance you will fail. That's fine, failure is a part of life--but not a part of Chilton. Understand?
