Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 18: "The Third Lorelai" Quotes
Rory: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship.
Tristan: (pause) Who's Louis?
Rory: Think about it.
Lorelai: (answering the phone) Independence Inn.
Emily: I need the hat rack.
Lorelai: (mysteriously) The fish flies at night.
Emily: What?
Lorelai: I don't know. Who is this?
Emily: Do you know that every night at dinner the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates about everything under the sun. They would quiz each other about current events, historical events and intellectual trivia. Now the Gilmore clan is just as smart and wordly as the Kennedy's so come on someone say something.
Lorelai: Did you know that butt models make $10,000 a day?
Emily: Camelot is truly dead.
Rory: Listen there's something I have to tell you.
Lorelai: What?
Rory: I loaned Paris your black mini and there's a good chance you may never see it again.
Lorelai: Oh well there's something I have to tell you.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: You lost out on a quarter of a million dollars today.
I'm going back to sleep. Tell Paris I hate her.
</i> Louise
Madeline: (to Paris) Looks like we're going to have to do the Pink Ladies makeover on you.
Louise: We'll turn you from a sweet Sandy to a sluty Sandy. Dancing at the school fair with high heels, black spandex and permed hair.
Rory: (about Paris) She's going out on a date with Tristan.
Lorelai: How'd that happen?
Rory: I did a little matchmaking.
Lorelai: (in a Ricky Ricardo voice) Lucy, how many times have I told you not to butt into other people's business?
Rory: Never.
Lorelai: (normal voice) Good going.
Paris: I brought everything just in case there was some sort of hidden potential in something that I just didn't see. So?
Rory: Well you'd be one well-dressed widow.
Rory: Uh, Paris? What are these cards that fell out of your jacket?
Paris: Oh yeah. Those are notes for tonight.
Rory: Notes?
Paris: Yeah. Just some reference points really. You know, subjects to bring up in case the conversation lags.
Rory: Well can I suggest that you leave this one about the Spanish Inquisition out?
Rory: I swear to God.
Paris: Are you atheist?
Rory: Excuse me?
Paris: Because that affects the validity of your swearing to God.
Richard: Long distance phone call.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: No, my mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God? So, God is a woman.
(Couple minutes later)
Lorelai: I still can't get over the fact that I'm related to God. This will make getting Madonna tickets so much easier.
Lorelai: Where's it going?
Emily: Third floor.
Lorelai: How about second floor?
Emily: Third floor.
Lorelai: How about first floor on a ladder?
