Lorelai: That bracelet is the most precious thing she owns. She never takes it off, and your stealing it was unbelievably cruel.
Jess: The most precious thing she owns?
Lorelai: Yes.
Jess: If it's the most precious thing she owns, why did it take her two weeks to notice it was gone? You might want to reevaluate how madly in love she is. I wouldn't start calling him son yet.

Luke: I walked around in a blind rage, I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate.
Lorelai: You ate that?
Luke: No, I didn't eat it!
Lorelai: Oh, of course.
Luke: I'm upset not suicidal!

Luke: I'm having nightmares where I'm being chased by boxes with arms and they tackle me and throw clothes on top of me and secure it with masking tape and while I'm lying there, you're standing in the corner laughing putting gel in your hair!
Jess: Should I be putting a tongue depressor in your mouth right about now?

Lorelai: Michel, I'm going out. Man the desk until I get back.
Michel: Are you sure you trust me with this job?
Lorelai: Michel.
Michel: I mean, I'll say I'll do it, but you could leave and I could put some fruit on my head and join a conga line somewhere.
Lorelai: I believe you looked for the bracelet, Michel.

Luke: There was one place I kind of liked.
Lorelai: Okay, describe it to me.
Luke: It had walls...with a kind of a floor...and a light.
Lorelai: Okay. Tell me it had a roof, and I'm pulling that baby right out from under you!

Mary: Listen to her.
Lorelai: Yeah. Listen to me.
Luke: You rarely give me a choice.
Lorelai: Come here so I can lick your face.
Luke: What?

Luke: I just spent $100,000 and it's all YOUR fault! (Storms into the house)
Lorelai: Oh. Good. (Follows him)
Luke: I ran into Taylor at the market. I found out he owns the building that apartment was in.
Lorelai: No way!
Luke: (Pacing) That and several other properties all over town.
Lorelai: That is so weird.
Luke: He's systematically buying up the town. He's gonna turn it into Taylorville, where everyone will have to wear cardigans and have the same grass height!
Lorelai: You want to sit...?
Luke: And then he told me he's gonna told he's gonna buy the building next to the diner and turn into a collectible plates shop for freaks who don't have enough brain power to collect stamps! I lost it.
Lorelai: I can't picture that.
Luke: I walked around in a blind rage. I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate.
Lorelai: You ate that?
Luke: No, I didn't eat it!
Lorelai: Of course.
Luke: I'm upset. Not suicidal!
Lorelai: Right.
Luke: I knew I just had to do something and I just heard your voice going round and round in my head.
Lorelai: Yeah, it's kind of like the small world song.
Luke: Take a chance, Luke. Make a move, Luke. You can't have a single bed, Luke! So I bought the building!
Lorelai: You bought...
Luke: I went straight to the bank, signed a cashier's check, and I bought the building!
Lorelai: Wow.
Luke: I am the building's owner!
Lorelai: I heard.
Luke: I own the building!
Lorelai: Okay, don't worry. Maybe you can still get out of it. You can go back there and tell them you lost your mind.
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: Or I bet you could sell it to Taylor!
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: So relax, you can still get out of this. Unless of course, you don't want to get out of this.
Luke: Oh, I want to get out of this. Why would I not want to get out of this?
Lorelai: Oh, owning that building gives you some options.
Luke: Like?
Lorelai: Like you could expand Luke's if you wanted to...
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: Or you could rent it to someone else...
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: Someone else who might drive Taylor crazy...
Luke: Maybe I should think about this.
Lorelai: Yeah, sleep on it.
Luke: Sleep on it. Right.

Mary: Now, I went over the square footage and the details of the lease with your husband this morning. Did he fill you in?
Luke: What? Oh no, we're
Lorelai: No, no, he didn't, but you know how men are. The minute that ball game comes on, all the realities of life just go right out the window.
Mary: Don't I know it.
Lorelai: I mean, I could answer the door wrapped in cellophane but unless I was wearing a Yankees cap. . .ugh, he wouldn't even notice.
Luke: Geez.
Lorelai: Oh, don't be embarrassed Snuffy, I'm just teasing. It'd be a Mets cap.

Rory: People are different once you get to know them. If you'll remember, you weren't too fond of Luke when you first met him.
Lorelai: That's not true.
Rory: You called him Duke for two years just to make him mad.
Lorelai: And let me tell you, it worked.
Rory: But then you guys talked and eventually, time went by, and now you love him.

(Alarm clock goes off with the sound of ducks as the alarm sound) Lorelai: Hey, ducks! Rory: (at door, talking to Jess) We just got a new alarm clock. Jess: Bet I know what the lead story in the Stars Hollow Gazette's going to be tomorrow.

(Luke comes into his apartment and finds Jess' music blaring and Luke wakes him up)
Jess: What?
Luke: Tomorrow, you and me are finding a bigger place. I want you up and moussed and ready by ten o'clock because we are finding a bigger place to live. Got it?
Jess: Got it.
Luke: Good.

(smashes hole in adjoining wall with sledgehammer) That's your room. (hands the sledgehammer to Jess) Finish up. We'll hold hands and skip afterwards.

</i> Luke

Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.

(about Max knowing his way around the kitchen)
Rory: He has much knowledge.
Lorelai: We shall form a cult around him.
Rory: Build a statue many stories high.
Lorelai: We shall grow our hair long and stop bathing.