(Luke's diner)
Emily: Anyhow, it's obvious that wouldn't even be appropriate anymore being as I'm probably standing in your reception hall.
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Emily: Burgers and fries for the dinner? The bride walks down the aisle with a ketchup dispenser in her hand.
Lorelai: Please tell me what you're talking about.
Emily: I'm talking about Luke.
Lorelai: Luke? Mom!
Emily: Well, it's obvious, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, it's not, Mom.
Emily: You're with him constantly.
Lorelai: He feeds me.
Emily: You bring up his name constantly.
Lorelai: Once again, he feeds me.
Emily: The moment he calls, you run to his side.
Lorelai: He's my friend, he needed me, I had to be there.
Emily: Yes, I know you did.

Jess: Look, the crazy ballet teacher called and asked when Luke was getting back from the funeral, if I could unlock the door. I came down, I unlocked the door, then went back upstairs and back to sleep.
Rory: So you did do a little something.
Jess: I unlocked the door.
Rory: So that people could come in here and put this together. Nice.
Jess: Nice for them, not for me.
Rory: You facilitated it, you made it happen, so I guess that means that you're officially a part of our town now.
Jess: Hey, wait a minute.
Rory: Welcome.
Jess: I am not part of this town.
Rory: See you for some tree planting over at the Arbor Day Festival, buddy.
Jess: Yeah, well maybe I can knock over a liquor store while everyone else is planting those stupid trees.
Rory: As long as it's a liquor store in town, neighbor.

Kirk: (about Luke's uncle) He kicked my dog when I was a kid.
Sy: He hit on my wife repeatedly.
Kirk: Toto was always different after that.
Sy: My wife was much affected as well.

Rory: Taylor's wigging.
Lorelai: I know. He's been sitting there like the final days of Dick Nixon for almost an hour.

Lorelai: Face it, Luke. People like you.
Luke: Shut up.
Lorelai: And with charm like that, how could they resist.

(to Lorelai) You're muttering under your breath. Years of experience have taught me that when you do that, it's usually about me.


Emily: They have cucumber slices in the water.
Lorelai: Oh, wow. Now if they have ranch dressing in the soap dispensers, this place is great.

Emily: We intend to leave here completely different people.
Lorelai: Yes, I'm going to be Ted Nugent.

Lorelai: Can we bribe you?
Waitress: No.
Lorelai: (pointing to Emily) Please? She's loaded!

Luke: (to Rory) Did you find a nail in your food? (to construction worker) Tom, you're dead!
Rory: There's nothing wrong with my food.
Luke: Sorry, Tom!

People just don't seem to realize that it takes years of practice to eat the way we do.


I'd better get going. I'm going to break out in rash any second.


Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes

I feel like crap on toast.


Christopher: When Jackson came out holding that kilt man, I felt for him.
Lorelai: I know, so did I.
Christopher: Please, I saw what your face was doing.
Lorelai: What? What was my face doing?
Christopher: It was counting up how many Brigadoon references you could come up with to torture him with at a later date.
Lorelai: How dare you accuse my face of that! My face is calling Gloria Alred when we get home.
Christopher: How many references?
Lorelai: None.
Christhopher: How many?
Lorelai: Twelve, including a few bars of I'll Go Home with Bonnie Jean.