(Luke's diner)
Emily: Anyhow, it's obvious that wouldn't even be appropriate anymore being as I'm probably standing in your reception hall.
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Emily: Burgers and fries for the dinner? The bride walks down the aisle with a ketchup dispenser in her hand.
Lorelai: Please tell me what you're talking about.
Emily: I'm talking about Luke.
Lorelai: Luke? Mom!
Emily: Well, it's obvious, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, it's not, Mom.
Emily: You're with him constantly.
Lorelai: He feeds me.
Emily: You bring up his name constantly.
Lorelai: Once again, he feeds me.
Emily: The moment he calls, you run to his side.
Lorelai: He's my friend, he needed me, I had to be there.
Emily: Yes, I know you did.

Jess: Look, the crazy ballet teacher called and asked when Luke was getting back from the funeral, if I could unlock the door. I came down, I unlocked the door, then went back upstairs and back to sleep.
Rory: So you did do a little something.
Jess: I unlocked the door.
Rory: So that people could come in here and put this together. Nice.
Jess: Nice for them, not for me.
Rory: You facilitated it, you made it happen, so I guess that means that you're officially a part of our town now.
Jess: Hey, wait a minute.
Rory: Welcome.
Jess: I am not part of this town.
Rory: See you for some tree planting over at the Arbor Day Festival, buddy.
Jess: Yeah, well maybe I can knock over a liquor store while everyone else is planting those stupid trees.
Rory: As long as it's a liquor store in town, neighbor.

Kirk: (about Luke's uncle) He kicked my dog when I was a kid.
Sy: He hit on my wife repeatedly.
Kirk: Toto was always different after that.
Sy: My wife was much affected as well.

Rory: Taylor's wigging.
Lorelai: I know. He's been sitting there like the final days of Dick Nixon for almost an hour.

Lorelai: Face it, Luke. People like you.
Luke: Shut up.
Lorelai: And with charm like that, how could they resist.

(to Lorelai) You're muttering under your breath. Years of experience have taught me that when you do that, it's usually about me.


Emily: They have cucumber slices in the water.
Lorelai: Oh, wow. Now if they have ranch dressing in the soap dispensers, this place is great.

Emily: We intend to leave here completely different people.
Lorelai: Yes, I'm going to be Ted Nugent.

Lorelai: Can we bribe you?
Waitress: No.
Lorelai: (pointing to Emily) Please? She's loaded!

Luke: (to Rory) Did you find a nail in your food? (to construction worker) Tom, you're dead!
Rory: There's nothing wrong with my food.
Luke: Sorry, Tom!

People just don't seem to realize that it takes years of practice to eat the way we do.


I'd better get going. I'm going to break out in rash any second.


Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.

(about Max knowing his way around the kitchen)
Rory: He has much knowledge.
Lorelai: We shall form a cult around him.
Rory: Build a statue many stories high.
Lorelai: We shall grow our hair long and stop bathing.