Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes
(Jess walks up behind them)
Jess: I gotta tell you, of all the nutty barn raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasn't half bad.
Dean: Glad you enjoyed it.
Jess: Yes I did. So shall we?
Dean: Shall we what?
Jess: Shall we go?
Dean: Go where?
Jess: Go eat.
Dean: Excuse me?
Jess: The person who buys the basket wins the company of the person who makes the basket for lunch. Basket, basket maker, guy who didn't bring enough money.
Dean: You think this is funny.
Jess: Well, it's no Lenny Bruce routine but it has its moments.
(Lorelai bursts into the diner)
Lorelai: Luke! Where is he, where is he? I need him! Caesar, where is - agh, agh, thank God. Hey, hey, you gotta come with me.
Luke: What are you doing? Hey hey, I got plates here!
Lorelai: Put the burgers down. Caeser, you're in charge.
Luke: Now wait.
Lorelai: Do you have money? I need money. (starts pushing the buttons of th register) Which one opens this thing? Is it that one, not that one.
Luke: Stop messing with that.
Lorelai: Luke, you gotta come out there with me. Patty gave my picture out to all these guys because she thinks I need a man.
Luke: You do, one with a nice couch and a deep knowledge of Freud.
Lorelai: You have to come out and bid on my basket.
Luke: Are you serious?
Lorelai: Yes.
Luke: I have never in my life taken part in one of these crazy group flip outs. I'm not about to start now.
Lorelai: But - right now - out there the -.
Luke: Just buy your own basket.
Lorelai: I cannot buy my own basket.
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Because that is pathetic.
Luke: And chasing me around my diner begging me to buy your basket?
Lorelai: Also pathetic. But that is a pathetic I can live with, where that pathetic is a truly pathetic pathetic, and only you can save me from the double pathetic! Please!
Luke: I can't believe I'm doing this.
Emily: Do you think you'll be single your entire life?
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Emily: I mean in terms of you finding someone, what do you think the odds are?
Lorelai: Ok, what is going on?
Emily: Well, I visited the family mausoleum today...
Lorelai: (to Rory) Never what you think it's going to be!
Rory: Hey Kirk, there are a couple of little kids over there and they're, uh, looking at this tape cover that's kind of mature. You might wanna put that stuff on a higher shelf or something.
Kirk: Mature? How mature?
Rory: Uh, it's a half-naked woman just standing there.
Kirk: Is she a blonde?
Rory: What?
Kirk: I'll check it out right now. (walks away)
Luke: (about Paris, who is annoying him) Rory, how much do you like this girl?
Rory: Do what you gotta do, Luke.
Richard: Who's going to help Rory get into Harvard?
Lorelai: Reese Witherspoon.
The Oppenheimer Award for Excellence in school journalism is not a contest. It's a statement. It says you're the best. The best writers, the best reporters, the best editors. It says that you have crushed all others who have dared to take you on. It says that every other single school in the United States of America is feeling nothing but shame and defeat and pain because of the people who won the Oppenheimer plaque. I wanna be those people, I wanna cause that pain.
Paris
Paris: Hey, where'd he come from? What's up there? Is that where you keep the girls? You got yourself a little cat house up there?
Jess: Wow, I think she got you Uncle Luke. You better give up now.
Luke: Do not add to this insanity.
Jess: An innocent boy like me should not be raised in an atmosphere like this.
Luke: Jess!
Jess: I wanna be good, life's just not letting me.
Lorelai: So, Dad, how's retired life treating you?
Richard: Well, fascinating actually! I find myself noticing things, everyday things that I must've witnessed a hundred times before and just walked right pass. Like yesterday your mother moved a vase, the one in the hall, and see didn't do it in front of me
Lorelai: No, no! 'Cause nice girls never move vases in front of men.
Richard: (ignoring Lorelai's comment) and she only moved it a little, but as I passed it by I noticed it had been moved!
Rory: Impressive!
Richard: And everyday is a new discovery! Your mother changed her hair, or she wore shoes that didn't match her purse!
Emily: Richard!
Richard: Last Thursday!
Emily: Oh, for heaven's sake!
Rory: Poor Dean.
Lorelai: Poor Dean, he has to spend one evening with him. I share chromosomes with the guy.
I am an annoyance to my wife and a burden to my daughter. I suddenly know what it's like to be obsolete.
Richard
Richard: Lorelai?
Lorelai: Yes, Dad?
Richard: May I speak to you for a moment?
Michel: (under his breath; in a sing-song voice) Someone is in trouble.
