Taylor: Another person witnessed Jess walking out of an arts-and-crafts store two days ago with what appeared to be chalk.
Luke: You appear to be bugging me, Taylor.
Taylor: So what are you going to do about it, Luke?
Luke: About what?
Taylor: About the results of my investigaion!
Luke: Absolutely nothing, but thanks for the info.
Taylor: You have to do something! People want action.
Luke: People? Meaning you.
Taylor: Not just me. I speak for the Stars Hollow Business Association, the Stars Hollow Tourist Board, the Stars Hollow Neighborhood Watch Organization, and the Stars Hollow Citizens for a Clean Stars Hollow Council.
Luke: All of which are you!
Taylor: So are you going to act?
Luke: Yes, I am. I'm going to act like you never came in here.
Taylor: Fine, have it your own way. But I warn you there's gonna be a lot of unhappy people at the S.H.B.A., the S.H.T.B., the S.H.N.W.O., and the S.H.C.C.S.H.C.!
Luke: F-I-N-E!

Emily: Three painters started, and they all three quit.
Rory: Why did they quit?
Emily: She wouldn't stop scowling.
Lorelai: I was going for a Billy Idol thing.
Emily: The one from Italy had some sort of breakdown.
Rory: Oh my God.
Lorelai: Hey, it didn't hurt Van Gogh, the guy should thank me.
Emily: A year later, I swear I saw him rummaging through our recyclables.

Rory: Mom, you're not writing what you purchased on the back of any of the inn's credit cards receipts.
Lorelai: Oh well, just put cooking spray and sponges.
Rory: OK and when an auditor wants to know why you need such large amounts of cooking spray and sponges?
Lorelai: Then I drop my pencil and I put the scoop neck sweater that I'm now making a mental note to wear to good use.
Rory: Well at least you've got a solid well thought out plan.

Mia: Nice to see you Lucas.
Luke: You're the only person in the world who can call me that, Mia.
Mia: I know this.
Luke: I'm saying it for others who plan to try it later.
Lorelai: Whatever Lucas.

Lorelai: I just flat out panicked about the enormity of what we were getting into and it clobbered me, and I clobbered Sookie, and I was such a jerk. Hey, if I cry, will it freak you out?
Luke: Totally.
Lorelai: What if I whimper?
Luke: How about you suck it up?
Lorelai: Hmm, I'll try.
Luke: I don't get it. You're as ready as you've ever been.
Lorelai: Oh Luke, do not underestimate the complete and total lack of confidence I have in my abilities.
Luke: What? You're the most confident person I know. Obnoxiously so.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Luke: I mean in a good way. You're good at what you do and you know it.
Lorelai: Oh, no, no, no. I'm good at doing what I have to do. When I had to get a job, I got it. When I had to find a house for us and a life for us, I got it. When I had to get Rory into Chilton, I did it. But I don't have to leave the Independence Inn. I don't have to go into business for myself, I don't have to walk out on that limb and risk everything I've worked for.
Luke: Then do it.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Just stay where you are.
Lorelai: What is this, reverse psychology?
Luke: No, just stay at the inn. You're happy there.
Lorelai: Oh, so you think I can't hack it.
Luke: Of course you can hack it.
Lorelai: Great, lip service, that's what I need.
Luke: Hey, if I start to cry, will that freak you out?
Lorelai: Ugh. I couldn't stay where I am if I wanted. Mia is selling the inn. And that hit me hard too, maybe harder than the other thing. I'm gonna be without a home.
Luke: What do you mean? This is your home.
Lorelai: No, I mean a home home. A memory home. The inn is where Rory took her first step. It's where I took my first step. It's more of a home to me more than my parents' house ever was.
Luke: You're just scared. Just like everybody else when they're taking on something big.
Lorelai: Well, then what does everybody else do to get through this feeling?
Luke: They run in the back, throw up, pass out and then smack their head on the floor.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: That's what I did on the first morning I opened the diner. Look, there is no button to push to get you through this. You just gotta jump in and be scared and stick with it until it gets fun.
Lorelai: How long 'til the diner got fun?
Luke: About a year.
Lorelai: Wow. And there's no button?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: How about a lever, can I pull a lever?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: Turn a knob?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: You just jump?
Luke: You just jump.
Lorelai: I wanna do it.
Luke: You should do it.

Rory: Maybe I am a loner. I mean, you were mocking my backpack today. I might just be one step away from carrying a mysterious duffel bag.
Lorelai: Oh no, no you don't. Don't you go doubting who you are or how you should be. How dare that woman do this to you!
Kirk: It's all fixed. I found a loose terminal. I reconnected the battery and jumped it, so it's set to go.
Lorelai: Oh, thanks Kirk.
Kirk: And I'm not gonna charge you for the time I spent stuck underneath the car.
Lorelai: That's great Kirk.
Kirk: And I just want you to know that I overheard, and you're absolutely right. I carried a duffel bag and ate lunch by myself my entire school career, and I turned out just fine.

(startled by Paris) God, you're like a pop-up book from hell!


Francie: Are you a belle?
(bell rings)
Rory: Oh, no, but apparently I command them.

Rory: (chuckling to herself) Barry Manilow.
Lorelai: Stop!
Rory: (singing) Looks like we made it.
Lorelai: Oh yeah? Spice Girls!
Rory: Duran Duran!
Lorelai: Dido!
Rory: Olivia Newton-John!
Lorelai: The Macarena! You and Lane for hours and hours for weeks on end!
Rory: Hey! We were mocking, you can't mock the mocking!
Lorelai: All right, it's getting ugly. Let's stop.
Rory: Let's be friends again.
Lorelai: All right.

Francie: Don't you have a nickname?
Rory: Well. Rory is a nickname. My real name is Lorelai.
Lem: Lorelai? That's a weird name!
Rory: Well Lem.. what can I say!

Ivy: I hate nepotism.
Lem: But unfortunately it does make the world go round.

Lorelai: Who the hell names their kid Lemon?
Rory: Someone really into citrus.

Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes

If eating cake is wrong, I don't want to be right.


Well, the worst that can happen is that I spend some time in your town and suddenly have an urge to enter a pie in the county fair.