Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes
Rory: It's just so weird that the one table I sit down at is home to the secret society.
Lorelai: I know. It's like waking up one day and realizing that everyone else in your family can pull their face off.
Rory: Yes, it's exactly like that.
Lorelai: Wow, busy today. Has Luke been advertising or something?
Rory: He gets good word-of-mouth.
Lorelai: Well, we have to start spreading bad word-of-mouth so we can always have a table.
Rory: Well, that would be wrong, but sure. Vermin?
Lorelai: Or no potable water.
Rory: Or no potable vermin.
Lorelai: That would scare them away.
Rory: Or confuse them away.
Lorelai: That's what you got busted for, ringing a bell?
Rory: Yeah, mhm.
Lorelai: That's it, bell ringing?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Were you at least smoking a Cuban cigar while you were doing it?
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: No. I mean bad girl. How many times have I told you not to ring bells.
Rory: Let's go.
Lorelai: They can dent or scratch. And they make dogs crazy. Who do you think you are, the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Are you French, are you circular? I don't think so.
(Paris looks terrible while Rory looks perfect)
Paris: That really how you look when you first get up?
Rory: Yes.
Paris: Nothing in my life is fair.
(Luke walks into the inn with his toolbox)
Lorelai: Oh, thank god. You brought Bert.
Luke: Right here.
Lorelai: My men! Follow me.
Luke: By the way, you do tell people that you're the one who named my toolbox, right?
Lorelai: (chuckles) Toolbox. Dirty.
Luke: Jeez!
(Luke's diner. Lorelai is sitting at the counter)
Lorelai: Hey Luke, ah, I feel a little weird even mentioning this to you.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Well, yesterday I saw you talking to Eva, you know, she's in my Booster Club?
Luke: Yeah, I know who she is.
Lorelai: (slightly annoyed) Oh, good, well, good. So, anyhow, I saw you guys talking alone, and it seemed kind of private and she mentioned earlier that you didn't make her, you know, gag. So, I just figured you guys were making some sort of plans to hang out and, see, the thing is, I just think it would be a little weird if you started dating a Chilton mom. Look, I know I have no right to say anything to you, but it's just, ahm, if you did date her, I'm in the Booster Club with her, which means that I'll hear things and, I don't know, it's just I'd like to keep that Chilton life seperate from my Stars Hollow life. So, if there's any way that you could not date her, that would be really great.
Luke: Boy, I tell you you've got nerve!
Lorelai: Okay, well, I know this is your private business.
Luke: It is my private business.
Lorelai: You don't see any validity to my side at all?
Luke: I am a grown man. You cannot tell me who to date.
Lorelai: I'm not telling you who to date, I'm telling you who not to date.
Luke: You can't tell me that either.
Lorelai: Look-
Luke: I will date who I like and if that screws with your plans then sorry! And if you don't wanna hear things, don't listen!
Lorelai: But-
Luke: If you don't like it you can just deal with it.
Lorelai: Okay, I'll just deal with it.
Luke: Good!
Lorelai: I just thought that if something was going to affect our friendship in some way that you might care about that, because if the situation was reversed then I would care, but hey! That's me. So, go ahead! Date her. Marry her. Make her Mrs. Backwards Baseball Cap. Live happily ever after! See if I care! (upset, she turns around to leave)
Luke: And by the way, I wasn't asking her out. I was giving her directions for the quickest way back to Hartford. It was very romantic. I said you take a right at Deerfield, and you catch the I-5 and you take it south. Oh man, hot stuff.
Lorelai: (very embarrassed but stubbornly trying to hide it) That is so typical of you!
Luke: What?
Lorelai: That is not the quickest way back to Hartford. Everybody knows that you take Maine to Cherry to Lynwood and then grab the I-11. Everybody knows that Luke. Everybody, apparently, but you!
(She exits and leaves a smiling Luke behind)
Rory: So?
Dean: So what?
Rory: It's good, isn't it?
Dean: It's the Rock-n-Roll hall of fame induction.
Rory: And doesn't Neil Young look cool?
Dean: I guess.
Rory: And you'll notice he's wearing a tux.
Dean: Neil Young looks cool because he's Neil Young, not because he's wearing a tux.
Lorelai:(on phone with Emily) I don't have to ask her Mom, I know the answer... I know the answer... yeah, no, I don't have to... yeah, hold on. (to Rory) Rory, would you like Grandma's hair stylist to come and set your hair before the ball? (Rory makes a face) Oh, I did not coach her, Mom. Go back to talking about gloves!
Rory:(to Dean) I think you're going to look great in a tux.
Lane: Tails.
Dean: What?!
Lane: Yeah, according to this, all escorts must be properly attired in black tails, white cumberbuns and white gloves.
Dean: What?!
Rory: I'm sure the gloves are optional!
Lane: Not according to this.
Dean: Tails? Gloves?
Rory: Remember Neil Young. Remember that you love me. Remember that I'll be watching battlebots with you for a month!
Dean: Show me Neil Young again.
Emily: You don't want your granddaughter admitted to society?
Richard: To hell with society! (to a table of people) And yes, I'm talking about you!
(Jess comes down the stairs drssed in a flannel shirt and a backwards baseball cap)
Lorelai: Uh, Luke...
Luke: What? (sees Jess) What do you think you're doing?
Jess: Working.
Luke: So, you think this is funny.
Jess: I'm sorry, I thought this was the uniform.
Luke: You know what? That's fine. Have your little joke, doesn't bother me at all. Clean that table.
Jess: Yeah?
Luke: I'm ignoring you. You do not exist.
Jess: Okay. (Jess starts to clean table)
Luke: That's it, gets upstairs and change.
Jess: Whatever you say, Uncle Luke.
Luke: It's Luke. Just Luke. Mister Luke. In fact, don't address me at all!
Lorelai: See; now only a lady can gracefully walk around a room with a book on her head while eating Kung pow chicken. I mean a great lady can even spit the peanuts back into the container without anyone noticing.
Rory: Wow!
Lorelai: Yeah, well don't be intimidated. You have to practice and practice to get to my level.
Rory: Anyone want the last egg roll?
Dean: Err...no!
Lorelai: Hey, where are you going?
Rory: To get the last egg roll.
Lorelai: Getting the egg roll yourself?
Rory: Yes!
Lorelai: No, ladies never get their own egg rolls, ladies never get their own anything they don't even get their own ideas.
Rory: Oh Boy!
Lorelai: They just sit helplessly and wait for some young strong man to come by and assist them. They don't step in puddles, they don't step over puddles, and they can't even look at puddles. They actually need to be blindfolded and thrown in a sack and carried over puddles.
Rory: Isn't there a moratorium on how long ladies are supposed to talk?
Lorelai: Errno! Now repeat after me "I am completely helpless".
Rory: So what do you think?
Dean: I think you look like a cotton ball.
Rory: Why, thank you, Jeeves.
Dean: But a really cute cotton ball.
Rory: Before I knew it, Grandma was telling me how important it is for a person to be properly presented to society.
Lorelai: Ugh!
Rory: And how every young girl dreams of this day.
Lorelai: Argh!
Rory: And how there are flowers.
Lorelai: Oh, Lord!
Rory: And music.
Lorelai: Please!
Rory: And cake.
Lorelai: Oh yeah, the cake's actually good.
