House: I quit.
Foreman: You can't quit.
House: I think you're confusing me with Jake Gyllenhaal.

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House: It's an 80 oz. steak.
Wilson: I'm hungry.

Dr. Foreman: Notice anything odd about the shape of the fluid collection?
House: Oh, God, it's... the Virgin Mary.

Dr. Cuddy: You want to kiss me, don't you?
House: I always want to kiss you.

[simultaneously] I'll take Taub.

Chase and Adams

Taub: House, call your mom.
House: What are you, my mom?

Dr. Cameron: His heart rate is 130 and rising like a Randy Johnson line drive.
House: 'A' for effort.

Taub: It could be sickle cell.
Dr. Foreman: Guy's white.
Taub: Whites can get it.
House: Come on. We get tennis elbow and all the money. Let them have sickle cell.

We need to check out Middle Earth. Foreman, take Frodo and break bread with the Hobbits.

Look, I don't want to go all Godfather on you. This was business.

[said to Dr. Park] Oh, you don't want to bet me.

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

I was going to send Chase to tell you what the obvious right thing to do is here is, but then I realized that if you were too stupid to know how stupid that was, you might miss the irony.

Dr. Wilson