No wonder you think women are so great. You've practically been one for the last three years.

Dr. Wilson: If there's one thing I've learned from you, it's that I should do what I think is right and not worry about the consequences.
House: Yeah, it's worked out great for me.

House: I lost my mojo.
Dr. Wilson: Have you retraced your steps? Does your cleaning lady check your pockets before...?

Patient: You're Dr. House, aren't you?
House: Oh... God! Don't tell me we used to date.

Kutner: I'm impressed. You didn't even flinch.
Sarah: I just went to my happy place.
Thirteen: We cannot let House anywhere near this woman.

Dr. Wilson: Just think of this as a dream.
Sam: What about House?
Dr. Wilson: I said a dream, not a nightmare.

Dr. Wilson: Cuddy is not a Vicodin substitute.
House: Quite the opposite.
Dr. Wilson: You have to wait for her to be ready.
House: Great advice. You pretend that I'm gonna do that.

If she likes crippled guys, I'm free for the next six minutes.

Something you think is more important than a nasty virus possibly spreading through my hospital? That means it's either personal or stupid.

Cuddy

35 year old male who cries blood and is not Vampire Bill. Go!

He's just trying to get into your skirts. And I don't mean metaphorically.

Even when you try to do something nice, you sound like a jerk.

Thirteen [to Foreman]

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

Religion just killed another person.

House