Mac: Mom was a manager of Jiffy Lube for many years.
Charle: I never heard about this.
Mac: Well, she doesn't like to brag. She started her way at the bottom and worked her way to the tippidy top.
Charlie: There's only three people at Jiffy Lube so it's not exactly a high climb.

• Permalink: Mom was a manager of Jiffy Lube for many years. I never heard ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

It's like an online shush.

Mac [complaining about not being friended]

• Permalink: It's like an online shush.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Don't tweet me. Don't shush me. Just connect with me.

Dennis

• Permalink: Don't tweet me. Don't shush me. Just connect with me.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Some cocks can't be unsucked.

Frank

• Permalink: Some cocks can't be unsucked.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna to kick a little ass, I'm gonna to kick some ass in the U.S.A., gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, I'm gonna kick some ass, I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE!

Charlie

• Permalink: I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna to kick a little ass, I'm gonna to ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hi. I'm a recovering crack head. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare, please.

Dennis

• Permalink: Hi. I'm a recovering crack head. This is my retarded sister that...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Goddamnit Frank! Eating your drinks?! That is genius!

Mac

• Permalink: Goddamnit Frank! Eating your drinks?! That is genius!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

We're drinking tequila out of sunscreen bottles.

Dee

• Permalink: We're drinking tequila out of sunscreen bottles.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

If you're not as educated or as informed what you do is you start your own party and you yell the loudest.

Charlie

• Permalink: If you're not as educated or as informed what you do is you star...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I don't like people with almond eyes. I find them creepy.

Charlie

• Permalink: I don't like people with almond eyes. I find them creepy.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I'm going to stab him. I'm going to stab his face off!

Waitress

• Permalink: I'm going to stab him. I'm going to stab his face off!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

We gotta stop pussy-dicking around here. It's time to get in the bunker.

Dee

• Permalink: We gotta stop p***y-d**king around here. It's time to get in the...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0