We only feel like ourselves... we only know who we are... when we feel worthless.

Bill

Louise: You're asking me to trade one form of punishment for another.
Bill: How do you know it'll be any worse than what you have now?
Louise: I don't. I don't, but at some point you got to make a choice. I choose to stay.

It's not that I even want to leave him. I don't. I just... I need to know that I can. I need to know that there's a door leading out, even if I never go.

Nancy

Well, the happiest occasion on Earth is a wedding. It's the one thing that gives us all hope.

Guy

I do wish you the very best, and I hope that you won't find marriage as the soul-crushing, testicle-shrinking, never-ending abyss of misery that I have.

Lester

You won't find anything, Virginia, not your property, not even your happy ending.

Nancy

Libby: Well, it is hardly my fault that you spent years as an absent father.
Bill: Don't throw that in my face.
Libby: And why shouldn't I? Why should I pay again for your selfishness?

Just us against the world.

Virginia

You confessed the one thing you knew would end our marriage in a room you knew was being taped. Sometimes what we want can surprise even us.

Art

Gentlemen, it's Masters and Johnson. That's who we are.

Virginia

I've loved you like a son. We have a relationship of nearly 30 years. But if you pursue this path, use your bully pulpit to advocate for the conversion of homosexuals, I will make it my life's work to see you discredited.

Barton

Women fake orgasms, maybe all of em. Although I haven't checked my clipboard lately

Betty