Why use a zippo when you have Cleopatra's lamp?

Whitehead

I appreciate you trying to put a front porch on this, but I'd like to get to why you're here.

Dwight

Dwight: If Sutton asks, they named her Penaria.
Whitehead: Can I have your half of the cookies?
Dwight: If that's what it takes.
Whitehead: Penaria it is then.

Mom: Children are a blessing, Dwightl.
Dwight: Speaking of which, where is our little bundle of caffeine?

Ford F-150, not exactly a nun-mobile.

Whitehead

It is exotic, I concur, my great grandma had it...

Sutton [about the baby's temporary name]

Sutton: That isn't for you!
Whitehead: What's it doing in my coffee pot?!

There is a kinko's across the street detective.....

Sutton

Sutton: Are you asking for help?
Whitehead: No, I just want to observe your style.

Hold on, I got an app for that.

Dwight [before busting the glass]

Personal is personal, until it starts leaking all over the office.

Dwight

Mr. Cresco: What am I doing in this room?
Lt. Rice: It has a tendency to bring out the truth.

Memphis Beat Season 2 Quotes

See, there's that attitude again. You don't belong in my department. If that means getting you promoted to do that, that's what I'm gonna do.

Lt. Rice [To Det. White]

Splitting Dwight and I up is about as stupid as a three-legged mule in a horse race.

Det. White