I live with 4 teenagers, you live with 2 adults.

Claire [to Gloria]

• Permalink: I live with 4 teenagers, you live with 2 adults.
• Added: February 22, 2012

She promised she wouldn't tell Dad until after I left for college, which means that he may never have found out.

Haley [to Alex]

• Permalink: She promised she wouldn't tell Dad until after I left for colleg...
• Added: February 22, 2012

There are blind models? That's so sad, they can't see how pretty they are!

Gloria

• Permalink: There are blind models? That's so sad, they can't see how pretty...
• Added: February 22, 2012

Do you think it would be offensive to ask my daughter to walk on my back?

Cam

• Permalink: Do you think it would be offensive to ask my daughter to walk on...
• Added: February 22, 2012

Luke: My mom hates messes.
Manny: I'm familiar with Claire.

• Permalink: My mom hates messes. I'm familiar with Claire.
• Added: February 22, 2012

She's like a dream, wrapped in a wish, poured into jeggings.

Manny

• Permalink: She's like a dream, wrapped in a wish, poured into jeggings.
• Added: February 22, 2012

Remember that time I told you I couldn't make your figure skating competition because I was stuck at work? By stuck I meant drunk and by work I meant the golf course!

Jay

• Permalink: Remember that time I told you I couldn't make your figure skatin...
• Added: February 22, 2012

It happens. Dolls grow up.

Haley

• Permalink: It happens. Dolls grow up.
• Added: February 22, 2012

The only stage you're going to be jumping to will have a pole on it!

Alex [to Haley]

• Permalink: The only stage you're going to be jumping to will have a pole on...
• Added: February 22, 2012