Hello, young Pat. What the hell are you wearing?


Avery: Mom, is that a sweater on the dog?
Murphy: Benny was cold.

Phyllis: Geez, you people! Okayyy, I'll have a party. But know that I'm doing this out of guilt and obligation.
Miles: Isn't obligation what holidays are all about?

Corky: And when was the last time you were in church?
Murphy: Last month. It's my polling place.

Let me ask you something. What the hell do you need a menu for? It hasn't changed in 40 years. Figure out whatever the hell you want and I will give you whatever the hell I've got.


I'm from gator territory. I think gator, I speak gator. I even lost my Grandma to a gator.


You can't outrun me, mister. I've got two fake hips. I'm bionic!

How are you gonna get us out of Afghanistan if you can't even find your way out of here?

So they basically lied to me.


He can call roadside assistance.


Now that your near 30 and have your own TV show, I thought you could handle the responsibility.

What's that squeaking sound?

Murphy Brown Quotes

I like being famous.


They've got one. It's orange, lives in the Oval Office, and is Facebook friends with Putin.