That did not happen to my turkey. MY turkey grew up on a beautiful farm in Vermont with its own bed, turn down service every night, free cable and then ... One bad day.

Murphy

• Permalink: That did not happen to my turkey. MY turkey grew up on a beautiful farm in Vermont with its...
• Added: November 22, 2018

Because she loves you and wants to make you happy, and WE have to pay for it.

Frank

• Permalink: Because she loves you and wants to make you happy, and WE have to pay for it.
• Added: November 22, 2018

Thumb? That's not a thumb. Why would an angry wife cut off her husband's thumb?

Phyllis

• Permalink: Thumb? That's not a thumb. Why would an angry wife cut off her husband's thumb?
• Added: November 22, 2018

Murphy: Miles, don't you have any snide remarks to make?
Miles: What's the use? I'm as dead as my Aunt Cheryl.

• Permalink: What's the use? I'm as dead as my Aunt Cheryl.
• Added: November 22, 2018