‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Hey, the Opera is one of the big three!

McGee

America?! Where they mix bacon... with syrup?!

Victoria Mallard

Jones: Agent McGee! We forgot witnesses. Any chance you two could help us out?
McGee: Absolutely.

Dinozzo, let's party!

Schmeil Pinkhas

Emily [regarding having a boyfriend]: And how old you need to be?
Fornell: A year older than you are, and every year it goes up by one!

Fornell: Hey, Gibbs! You gotta come over here and push down on my pelvis!
Gibbs: I'm gonna pass on that.

Balthazar Kilmeany: Your mother's got quite a set of lungs on her.
Young Ducky: I *will* throw up on you.

Agent from England, the one who looks like a sculpture?

Qasim [describing Reeves]

Trust only works when it goes both ways.

Qasim

NCIS Quotes

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott