Schmidt: Have you ever dated two women at once?
Rabbi: What are you talking about? I went to camp. They used to call me the octopus.

Are we ever gonna get to the point where you stop working on me? Or instead of changing me, maybe once Jess, see it my way.

Nick

It's not a perfect system Jess, but it's mine ok? And it's private.

Nick

Tzatziki is what it's called. It's Jewish charity.

Nick

My boyfriend doesn't believe in banks. It's early in the relationship. I'm still shaving above the knee. Know what I mean?

Jess

I'm a hero Nick, just tell me I'm a good man. I really need to hear it.

Schmidt

What is money anyway? It's just paper that some king on a mountain said was worth something. Gold I understand, it's shiny. You can make jewelry out of it.

Nick

So yeah, I was dating them both at the same time. I'm a mess, I can't sleep, I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.

Schmidt

A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls.

Nick

Oh my God. It is a hand...full of dollar bills y'all!

Jess

New Girl Season 3 Episode 5 Quotes

A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls.

Nick

Oh my God. It is a hand...full of dollar bills y'all!

Jess