That first-class ass is gonna be sitting in Coach tonight.

Coach

• Permalink: That first-class ass is gonna be sitting in Coach tonight.
• Added: November 20, 2013

Winston: Friends don't call friends pathetic.
Nick: But what do friends do when the other friend is taking a shower with a cat?

• Permalink: But what do friends do when the other friend is taking a shower with a cat?
• Added: November 20, 2013

Nick, you know what a squirrel looks like. You've been outside.

Winston

• Permalink: Nick, you know what a squirrel looks like. You've been outside.
• Added: November 20, 2013

She's on a flip-phone. That means she's either poor, or a time traveler!

Schmidt

• Permalink: She's on a flip-phone. That means she's either poor, or a time traveler!
• Added: November 20, 2013

Hi there. I'm about to ruin a date and don't want to show up empty-handed.

• Permalink: Hi there. I'm about to ruin a date and don't want to show up empty-handed.
• Added: November 20, 2013