Night Court
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on NBCNight Court Season 1 Episode 8: "Blood Moon Binga" Quotes
Dan: Your Honor, the defense moves to have this case dismissed due to my client’s debilitating medical condition.
Abby: If I may ask, what condition is that?
Olivia: Defendant claims she’s a werewolf.
Gurgs: Actually, Your Honor, she would be a wif-wolf, since ‘were’ is Old English for ‘man’.
Dan: The patriarchy strikes again!
Dan: Your Honor, try to put yourself in my client’s… paws. She was very much on edge. There were fireworks, and someone nearby was running a vacuum cleaner.
Pam: My neighbors are monsters.
What the hell is going on here? We’re only three cases in and we’ve already had a feminist werewolf, someone trying to break the time barrier, and what appears to be a classic body swap.
Abby
We used to bet on all the insanity back in the day. One year, I won the trifecta – had invisible man, doll come to life, and an alien trying to get back to his home planet.
Dan
Gina: I need to use the ladies room.
Abby: Oh, down the hall and to the left. And I know you like to have a good time, but do not call any of the phone numbers written in there.
Gurgs: I’m telling you, there’s something going on between Dan and Geena. I have a seventh sense about these things.
Neil: Isn’t it a sixth sense?
Gurgs: No, my sixth sense is I see dead people. Like that boy.
Neil: The one from the movie?
Gurgs: No, the one next to you.
Olivia: When Satan speaks to you, is it in your head or from a dog?
Marsha: He speaks through my air fryer.
Blaine: Possessed appliances. I got it.
Marsha: Satan is a big fan of your work.
Dan: We go way back.
Neil: So how did you meet Abby’s dad?
Gina: Oh, no one wants to hear that boring story.
Dan: Personally, I would love to hear what you’ve been telling Abby all these years.
Abby: It’s a fairy tale. My dad was Upstate for the Mel Torme concert and decided to go to the Harvest Festival. He and my mom ended up in the same ferris wheel car and by the end of the ride, they fell in love. Later that night, he proposed, saying, ‘You’re only one yes away from the rest of your life.’
Dan: Almost sounds too good to be true.
You and your mom talk about how you love each other? It’s not just a word that was once written in a birthday card you keep with you at all times?
Olivia
Olivia: Are you stalking Abby’s mom on Facebook?
Neil: No! I’m just doing some light research so I can have a successful conversation with her.
Olivia: Oh, Neil. Being a person might not be for you.
All moms have secrets, right? Mine was that she never wanted me. Although, I guess it wasn’t really much of a secret cause it’s how she’d kick off parent-teacher conferences.
Olivia
