Night Court
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on NBCNight Court Season 1 Episode 7: "Train Court" Quotes
Gurgs: So your fancy dinner is more important than your friends?
Dan: This is not just a dinner. This is a meal that Scientific American called, ‘a heinous waste of stem cells.’
Abby: So do you think this gets me closer to being a real New Yorker?
Olivia: Eh, who knows what a real New Yorker even is. All I know is this is a city of weirdos and your relentless positivity makes you one of the weirdest people I ever met.
Olivia: For your first time getting stuck on a subway, you handled it pretty well.
Abby: Honestly, wasn’t that different from when I was trapped in a corn maze. That scarecrow and I had some good times. Though on some level, we both knew what we had was fleeting. That’s what made it so special.
Meeting your heroes isn’t always great. When I was ten, I met my favorite astronaut. And she screamed and bit my hand. But in the Commander’s defense, she was a squirrel monkey.
Dan
It’s hard being new in town. Your whole life you hear about how magical New York is. And when you get here, it’s just scaffolding and weird puddles.
Gurgs
Tara Lipinski: Now this is a man with presence. It’s like a daring mix of stateliness and I-couldn’t-care-less energy that is just so exciting to watch.
Johnny Weir: Well, he is known as the Bad Boy of the Courtroom for a reason, T. The passion, the fire, pageantry. You know we live for…
Both: … pageantry!
I just want to say I have a great deal of respect for Olympic athletes. Your ability to work only once every four years! Incredible!
Dan
Gurgs: Enjoy your dinner. I hope your scallops are saltier than Abby’s tears when she hears she missed a chance at meeting ice skating royalty.
Dan: There won’t be any scallops. I already know that my personalized menu will rely heavily on an endangered species. It’s always been a dream of mine to eat the last of something.
You’re in luck, Judge, this court has the largest active VHS collection in the continental United States, and once Alaska falls, we’ll stand alone.
Gurgs
Your Honor, the defendant brazenly stole this woman’s seat when she stood to stretch. And we all know the rule, ‘If the butt’s still near, I’m a-sitting here.’
Olivia
Passenger: Six Train Downtown Local is now in session. The honorable Judge This Lady presiding.
Abby: All right. Let’s baguette it on! [uses a baguette as a gavel]
Neil: I’m sorry! Gurgs said if I didn’t help her, she’d tell everyone where I do stand up.
Dan: Well, that’s more of a threat to us than to you!
