Leslie, NO! We use that stuff to burn warts off mules!

Leslie: You could go to jail. Jail, Ron. Ron, Jail. Jail, Ron, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Ron: Are you broken?

Tom: It's almost too easy.
Ben: I can hear you.
Tom: I know you can Ben, that's how easy it is.

Most of these aren't even receipts, like this one says "I bought supplies 2007."

Leslie

My first ex-wife's name is Tammy, my second ex-wife's name is Tammy. My Mom's name is Tamara... she goes by Tammy.

I would guess that they would be bankrupt by the end of this sentence.

Ben

Tammy 1 is my blonde chicken.

She's the cold distant mother I never had. I love her.

April

I hope the rest of your day is cool beans.

Leslie: Why do you have so many guns?
Tamara: This is America isn't it?
Leslie: Yes.
Tamara: Then I don't have to answer stupid questions while standing on my own property.

Parks and Recreation Season 4 Episode 2 Quotes

I hope the rest of your day is cool beans.

Ron

Leslie: Why do you have so many guns?
Tamara: This is America isn't it?
Leslie: Yes.
Tamara: Then I don't have to answer stupid questions while standing on my own property.