Megan: This is the type of place most kids go to school
Sage: Now I know why there's so much crime in this country

Rose: Are you sure this is the right place?
Megan: Welcome to the public school system girls
Sage: Oh that reminds me, I forgot to TiVo prison break

Megan: A doctor that does house calls, how quaint
Marco: He gets $5,000 a day
Megan: By quaint I mean holy crap

Megan: Good morning ladies!
Sage: Okay that "first thing in the morning chipper voice" you do has to stop

Megan: I hooked you up with an organization called "Once Upon a Dress." They provide donated dresses to high school girls who can't afford them for prom and home homecoming
Sage: So they wear used dresses? I'd sooner borrow someone's tooth brush

Now pass the ketchup I need to drown out the taste of my first ever chili dog


Marco: Why don't you write her a Dear John letter while your at it
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Marco: Don't be coy with me Chuckles

Marco: How's my little Jackie Collins doing?
Megan: Huh?
Marco: In my heart your up here writing trashy romance novels, don't take that away from me

Rose: Sage is just mad because our friend Precious is getting all famous
Sage: She's not famous, she did a movie with elephants and subtitles
Rose: I hate subtitles
Sage: Yeah everyone does

Megan: We can talk about it as long as you want and if its really upsetting to you then..
Sage: Then you'll leave us alone? Then okay, we're really upset. Bye

Charlie: Not every guy is gonna cheat on you
Megan: You say there but I haven't told you about the hot blond in Jacob's office
Charlie: Here we go
Megan: I'm not crazy. There was a vibe!
Charlie: I'm sure there was. You're still crazy

Megan: Who said I'm not ready?
Charlie: Another question for your therapist, by the way which I'm not

Privileged Quotes

Boss [about Megan's hair]: It's just so bright
Megan: Everyone loves Lucille Ball but no one does anything about it.
Boss: This isn't about the hair, though it is really distracting...

Hey lady, i can see your va-jay-jay!

Random kid