You have something more important in your life. Don't apologize for that.

Luke

Sam: First time you ever held a grenade?
Andy: Yes. It was never really a goal of mine.

Yeah well. Us is fine because us is amazing.

Gail

I thought this was going to be like Two Men and a Baby. Instead it's like some horrible after school special.

Dov

Gail Peck gets benched and suddenly the lonely planet looks a lot less lonely.

Nick

The new you needs a cleaning lady.

Oliver

Wait, seriously, I'm the only one who's never had sex with anyone from 15?

Dov

Chris: I feel like someone's breaking up the band.
Gail: Now that's just silly because we're not a band. But if we were, I would be Yoko. So you all should be celebrating.

That's not your job anymore.

Andy

Andy: Why are you drunk at 8am anyway?
Nick: I was still drinking at 7.

About 20 minutes ago you were the muffin man now you look ill.

Gail

You're right, Sir. My personal life is none of your business.

Dov