Andrea: Does mental illness run in your family? And don't be embarrassed. I mean I get anxiety on international flights.
Becky: No mental illness.
Jackie: Well. Our mother was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure she's start raving...

• Permalink: Well. Our mother was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure she's start raving...
• Added: March 27, 2018

Roseanne: So are you gonna be there when Becky has sex with your husband or what?
Becky: Mom! They don't do it like that.

• Permalink: Mom! They don't do it like that.
• Added: March 27, 2018

I don't care how long it takes to recover. I'll take all the drugs you got.

Becky

• Permalink: I don't care how long it takes to recover. I'll take all the drugs you got.
• Added: March 27, 2018

Darlene: Where's dad?
Roseanne: He's in the kitchen. He's washing his tail in the sink.
Becky: Mom!

• Permalink: He's washing his tail.
• Added: March 27, 2018

Darlene: What the hell were you thinking?
Dan: I didn't think it was that big of a deal, Darlene. You wanted a knife at that age, and I gave you one.
Darlene: That was to defend myself at home.

• Permalink: That was to defend myself at home.
• Added: March 27, 2018

Mark: Granny Rose already told everyone she's a witch.
Darlene: No. She'd never get that close to a broom.

• Permalink: No. She'd never get that close to a broom.
• Added: March 27, 2018

Mark: There's this girl who always offers to dissect everybody's frogs.
Darlene: OK. You can be her friend for now, but you know as she gets older you might want to drift away.

• Permalink: OK. You can be her friend for now, but you know as she gets older you might want to drift away.
• Added: March 27, 2018

Tough kid. I'm gonna miss him.

Dan

• Permalink: Tough kid. I'm gonna miss him.
• Added: March 27, 2018