Favorite Royal Pains Quotes
Evan: If I got bit by a bat, what's gonna happen to me?
Hank: All right. Worst case scenario, you die. Best case scenario, you become immortal.
Rob: So you are our last-minute compromise.
Hank: I've been called worse.
Evan: At HankMed, we aim to compromise, so that's great.
Rob: That's the worst business mantra I've ever heard.
Hank: Who is that guy Jill's talking to?
Evan: Not you.
I'm not going home, he's coming back guaranteed.
Evan
Evan: I love ya.
Hank: Like you.
Zoey: Remember when I said I was too afraid to go see a doctor?
Hank: Yeah.
Zoey: If I'd known there was a doctor out there like you, I might've found the courage.
Hank: Just know that Evan and I are here to stay, and there's always, always a place for you here with Hankmed, no matter what.
Divya: Well, I appreciate that. And I'll let you know what my future holds, as soon as my parents decide it for me.
Evan: Well, maybe negotiations will still fall apart last minute. Maybe your dad'll raise the dowry to five goats and a donkey and Raj'll call it a deal-breaker.
Divya: Hmm. Maybe you're the donkey.
Call me Ishmael! Call me the Rainmaker! Call me...the proudest brother on Earth.
Evan
Evan: We're broke.
Hank: What do you mean broke?
Evan: I mean depleted, destitute, insolvent.
Hank: I was asking for an explanation, not a thesaurus.
Zoey: You never assumed I was crazy. Gave me the benefit of the doubt. Most people wouldn't have, Hank.
Hank: Yeah, well, more people should be like us. And less people should be like most people.
(trying to communicate with a chef who only speaks Italian)
Divya: Tell her it won't take long.
Evan: (in very bad Italian) The clock, it will not last long.
Hank: Well, I'm ready to leave.
Divya: We just got here.
Evan: You know what? I'm actually with Hank on this one. The average age here is dead.
