Popular Royal Pains Quotes
(to Evan) Be quiet. Be professional. Be-have. But mostly be quiet.
Divya
Julie Kingsley: (to her husband) Cut veggies, tea, and a Hank are no substitute for a hospital.
Hank: The Hank tried to tell him that.
Alan Rider: You said your business is discreet?
Evan: Oh, yeah. HankMed invented discretion, man. We're just, you know, too discreet to publicize it.
Divya: People pay to be treated, not coddled. And I don't give a tinker's curse for your marketing drivel.
Evan: I can't debate you if you talk gibberish that sounds kind of like something a chimney sweep from Mary Poppins would say, but you can't cure him unless you win his trust first.
Divya: Will that be sufficient?
Alan Rider: Delightful. On behalf of me and my genitals, thank you.
Zach Kingsley: I can't afford to play Russian roulette with our livelihood.
Hank: Well, you're playing Russian roulette with your life.
Alan Rider: So what are you gonna check for now?
Divya: Epididymitis or testicular orchitis.
Alan Rider: Uh, neither of those sounds any good.
Divya: I don't name them. I just treat them.
Hank: Look, the good news is the IV catheter's already in, so I just have to switch bags.
Zach Kingsley: And the bad news is now I'll be lame. Kids hate lame, Hank.
Hank: So you'd let your course of treatment be dictated by people who are three feet tall and eat paste for fun?
Oh well, some days I have the mo. Some days I have the jo. And some days, I even put them together.
Zach Kingsley
(about Evan) There's no stopping him when he's like this. The bylaws for our treehouse were 8 pages long...and it was an imaginary treehouse.
Hank
Anyone else dropping by? Some huddled masses? Fagin's gang of street urchins perhaps?
Evan
Note to self, become a doctor.
Evan