Regina: I don't want you to think I'm one of those uptight mothers, I... I... I want to be supportive, so, c'mon, let's get my little girl laid.
Dena: Okay!
Samantha (to Andrea): This is bad, right?
Andrea: Do you think?! I'm out with a dork, her mother and her stalker. Looks like I'm leading the special-needs field trip.

Samantha: So she's hum, she seems nice... She's very pretty.
Todd: Oh, thanks.
Samantha: I didn't say you were pretty! I said she was pretty.

Samantha: Mom, can I talk to you about something kind of personal?
Regina: Oh, I knew this was going to come up sooner or later.
Samantha: You did?
Regina: Yes, and hunny, don't worry... you're not dying, this happens to every woman, once a month.

I'm just not gonna check the machine anymore, I mean if those people want to find me they can just hunt me down.. no, no that's not good.

Dena: (about Samantha) She's a bridesmaid!
Regina: In a wedding?
Dena: Yeah.
Regina: You mean someone liked her?
Samantha: Yes mother, it is possible despite my upbringing.

Regina: You're never gonna make it sweetheart.
Samantha: No? Watch me. Somebody likes me and it's an honor to be asked and I'm not gonna let down my good friend Victoria.
Dena: Valerie.
Samantha: Whatever.

Samantha: Disinvited? But she liked me. How can she disinvite someone she likes so much?
Andrea: Oh I don't know, it might be because you started a litte wedding pool on how long the marriage would last.
Samantha: Well that's not very likable.

Samantha: Dena I'm not gonna stay somewhere when I'm not wanted.
Dena: It's not that hard, you get used to it.

Samantha: Hey, hey, Frank? I'm not really sure about this outfit. You know me, is this me?
Doorman Frank: Yes, it is.
Samantha: You didn't look.
Frank (after glancing at Samantha): It's an improvement over the usual, I'd say.
Samantha: Really? Wow.
Frank: Coco Chanel said that to avoid over-accessorizing, women should look in the mirror and remove one thing. With you, it was often your dignity.
Samantha: Oh. Thank you for... your honesty. Hey, should I get a boob job?
Frank: We are not friends.
Samantha: Right.

Sam: And now I can't quit my job, and I have to work. It is so unfair!
Todd: Unfair how?
Sam: That I have to work! So I can pay my bills! So that I can make money! Okay, so it sounded a lot more unfair in my head than it did out loud.

Sam (out of breath): Hi.... thank you... secretary... listen... I have ten seconds before this meeting... now just don't ask me... but just tell me... what do we do?
Tracy: Exactly what we're told, I know that now, it won't happen again.

Stupid old me! The old me really screw the new me over, didn't she? How am I suppose to start fresh? when my past keeps reaching into my future and pulling me into my present!

Samantha Who? Quotes

Sam: Couple of good things about being in a coma: no fattening food, lots of rest, they sponge you down every day. It's like a spa. Bad things: my nose itches, I have something called the "Pina Colada Song" stuck in my head, and, oh yeah, sometimes I can hear what people in my room are saying.

Sam: Good things about amnesia: all new clothes, no re-runs. Bad: every minute is like that dream where you haven't been to class all year, and the test is now.