Andrea: It's not the money...I swear I would love him if he was just a millionaire. And he's getting divorced. Should I go for it?
Samantha: Andrea, he is charming, good looking, rich and available. If you don't go for him, I wi...
Andrea: (interrupting, threateningly) ... I'll tear you apart.
Samantha: I was kidding.
Andrea: Yah, me too.

Andrea: I hate you, and I don't like your shoes today. And if you fell off the face of the earth, I wouldn't even care.
Samantha: (crying) Good... there's more billionaires for me.

Winston: Samantha Newly, the day we've been waiting for is finally here. Marry me.
Samantha: Screw me.

Dena: Hello? Sam?
Regina: She's not here!
Dena: Oh.
Regina: She's probably in a meeting of Daughters Who Refuse to Do One Thing to Please Their Mothers club.
Dena: Oh OK. Well, maybe I'll go find her there.

Samantha: That's purple ink! That's what that is. That is the same color of ink that we find on your little Fuzzy.
Todd: Chloe?
Chloe: Alright, yeah, I did it. I just felt threatened by her because she is so beautiful and smart.
Samantha: So not true! Oh, wait, thank you.

Samantha: (to Frank) Andrea's bringing me something to wear. But thank you for the coat. I'm sorry if it smells like perfume. Hey, you know, I could write a note to your wife and tell her we didn't have sex.
Frank: Oh yes, thank you. I think she'd like that.

OK class, a quick review. Muscle memory. Very helpful in remembering things you forgot. But here's the thing -- the heart is also a muscle. Fortunately, the heart remembers most strongly the people who will always love you, no matter what.

Samantha: I know that I have amnesia but I really don't recall that rabbit thing right there.
Regina: (about the stolen rabbit statue) That? It's always been there. Now help me bury it in the backyard.

Sam: Mom, I am not going to spend my Sunday night making some mother feel bad about her child.
Regina: Why not? it every other day.

Sam: Just relax, alright? This is good. Everyone will assume that the car was stolen out of the driveway overnight, and the insurance will buy a new one, so no one gets in trouble. More importantly, my dad will think that he can trust me.
(car is pushed into the lake, sinking)
Dena: Even though he can't.

Andrea: Guess who cracked like an egg?
Sam (shooing Andrea and Dena aside): No no no, get get get. Dena. What happened to a lifetime of keeping things inside?
Dena(about Andrea grilling her as to what she and Sam were hiding): Her questions were really hard. And plus I really enjoyed her finally taking an interest in me. (laughs) Nice scarf.
Sam: Thanks. It's also a casual skirt.

Dena(on the face Sam is making: Oooh, that's the scary face she made at the lake. Bad Sam is back.
Andrea: Oh, there's my baby girl! Oh, it's good to see you!

Samantha Who? Season 1 Quotes

Sam: Couple of good things about being in a coma: no fattening food, lots of rest, they sponge you down every day. It's like a spa. Bad things: my nose itches, I have something called the "Pina Colada Song" stuck in my head, and, oh yeah, sometimes I can hear what people in my room are saying.

Sam: Good things about amnesia: all new clothes, no re-runs. Bad: every minute is like that dream where you haven't been to class all year, and the test is now.