Happy endings don’t exist
But here’s a pearl you may have missed
Every day can be a happy beginning.

Oscar & Stephen

Ten dollars? Girl, be corrupt but have some pride.


Have you heard the parable of the guy who helped the other guy, and it worked out for both of them?


Topher: Do you think there’s even more for me to learn about lovemaking?
Jenny: Yeah, definitely. It was great. But, you know, even Picasso kept taking lessons.

Oh, no, don’t you dare sing to me, you sicko! I shut down a dream ballet, I will shut down this!


The magic wore off. Magic always does.


I’m incapable of feeling remorse.

Octavius Kratt

Believe me, there’s no honor in honorable mention, but I’ve made it an art.


Marisa: I was trying to hug a butterfly.
Josh: Oh, don’t do that, they don’t like it.

The road you’re on is paved with gold, but who knows where it leads?


You’re like a sour macaroon.


God made them meat. I'm just making them into sausage.

Dooley Blight

Schmigadoon! Quotes

What, so one kick and, apparently, MAGIC?


Josh: I usually give it a kick.
Melissa: Oh, really?
Josh: Yeah. Right there. I could do it for you if you'd like.
Melissa: Nah, I've been doing all my own kicking since third grade.