What you have just described is love. It is not something you can prove is there. It is something you choose to believe in.

Widow Lopez

Oh no, is this a dream ballet? No, no, we're not having a dream ballet. Okay? They're annoying and stupid. They slow everything down. Nobody likes a dream ballet. Nobody!

Melissa

Josh: You need to forgive your sister. Your mother. This whole thing is very Chinatown.
Carson: What?
Josh: It's a movie
Carson: Like Airbud?
Josh: Not like Airbud.

Widow Lopez: Do you love my son?
Doc Lopez: Mama, you're only here because you know how to drive.
Widow Lopez: Jorge, please. I have something I need to say. A week ago, my husband of fifty years died in my arms. When I buried him, it was like burying a part of me, so I think I know something of love. Tell me, do you love my son? You have one heart. Is he the one you want to give it to?

Melissa: You can't do this. I'm not the bad guy, here.
The Countess: You walked into my engagement and destroyed my future. That's called being the bad guy.
Melissa: Well, it's never explicitly stated, but I think you're a Nazi.
The Countess: Of course, I'm a Nazi.

I know it is bonkers for Jorge to choose me over you. You could have anyone. Alfred Hitchcock would turn down a custard pie to torture you. Love is weird.

Melissa

Danny Bailey: Well, well, well. I've walked these woods all my life. This is the first time I've come across a six-foot snake.
Josh: Six-one, actually. And my BMI's nineteen.

Josh: Why are you only in your underwear?
Carson: I'm not going to wear anything she gave me.
Josh: Then who gave you the underwear?

We can't just run away from the people we love because they're not perfect.

Josh

I know it's hard. Relationships are not like playing the kazoo. They take work, but they're worth it.

Josh

So we're not cheating. We're just exploiting a loophole. Gee, thanks!

Carson

Stop moping! You are gorgeous. You'll find someone else in no time.

Widow Lopez

Schmigadoon! Quotes

What, so one kick and, apparently, MAGIC?

Melissa

Josh: I usually give it a kick.
Melissa: Oh, really?
Josh: Yeah. Right there. I could do it for you if you'd like.
Melissa: Nah, I've been doing all my own kicking since third grade.