Scream Queens Season 1 Quotes
Chanel: A haunted pumpkin patch.
Chanel #3: How very adolescent of you to think of this. It vaguely smacks of something my six year old sister would be excited about but... great, yes. A haunted pumpkin patch created expressly to raise money for some disease more heinous than Zayday's sickle cell anemia haunted house.
Let me brew you up a hot cup of tell it like it is.
Zayday
Weston, this has been a terrifying night and you're an overwhelmed single father who's back on the dating scene and clearly that's got you a little freaked out. I'm not going to hold any of this against you and I'm gonna let you be my date for the faculty Halloween party. We are going as Bo Peep and her sheep.
Dean Munsch
Halloween is the most important day of the year. It's the one day on the Gregorian calendar where you're allowed to go around terrifying children and not be branded a psychopath. I am a future network news anchor who's super classy and has almost no fat on her body. But a lot of my fans are, like, friendless dumpy coeds at this or that nursing school in one of this country's various national armpits. And Chanel-O-Ween is the one time a year where I can give these precious donkeys something to look forward to. They put down their Hot Pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me. Chanel-O-Ween is approaching so I went shopping with my comatose grandmother's credit card and bought presents. This severed hand is for Mallory. These razor apples- for Daisy!
Chanel
I'd like to say a few words in closing. Let's tell each other how we feel about one another. Find that tortured gay kid in your life... hold them close tonight.
Dean Munsch
Chad: Why do you even care how many people I sleep with? Okay? I always wear protection. And it's not like I love these chicks.
Chanel: You... you love me?
Chad: That is not what I said!
Chanel: You love me.
Chad: Stop saying that.
Earl Grey: I heard the coroner calling Boone's death a suicide. It's a bloody tragedy.
Chad Radwell: Yeah, well, it was really bloody.
HASHTAG CAHOOTS!!
Denise Hemphill
Look, Chanel, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm sort of over this whole "serial murderer" thing that's going on right now. Last night, I had an amazing threesome with Roger and Dodger, and I realized that I'd rather focus my attention this semester on getting spit-roasted by hot golf frat twins than help you figure out who's murdering a bunch of dumb gashes!
Chanel #5
Chanel #5: You have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.
Chanel Oberlin: I'm sorry, did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt? Nobody likes a suck-up, Chanel #5.
Zayday: Hey, girl, can I just ask you... what's up with your outfit?
Gigi: My therapist says I had a traumatic experience that kept part of my psyche forever trapped in the 90's but I'm like, uh, I'll take it!
What fresh hell is this?
Chanel
