Scrubs Season 4 Episode 6: "My Cake" Quotes
J.D.: Why haven't you told her?
Turk: I'm not sure. Can I tell you something weird, though?
J.D.: You can tell me anything.
Turk: I feel like your dad dying has stolen my diabetes thunder.
J.D.: Oh my God, just this second I was thinking your diabetes is gonna get in the way of my dad dying.
J.D.: What's the occasion?
Turk: I... have type II diabetes.
J.D.: Really?
Turk: Yeah.
J.D.: That sucks. Carla is aware that if you eat that your foot will fall off, right?
Turk: Well, I haven't told her yet. But I'm pretty sure she knows, 'cause right now she's trying to get me to 'fess up by tempting her Chocolatey Goodness with chocolatey goodness.
Carla: Babe? Do you want some hot fudge sugar sauce?
Turk: Oh, hell yeah! (he shakes his head to J.D.)
Turk: Do you want me to kick his ass?
J.D.: No need. I already got him back, and then some.
Flashback: Cox approaches his car, and sees the message "WASH ME!" scrawled in the dust of the car
Turk: On the window, huh?
J.D.: Uh, yeah!
J.D.: So now you're making fun of me because I need a little help getting through this?
Dr. Cox: No, I'm-I'm really trying.
J.D.: You know what, I am sick of getting dumped on, and I am sick of you!
He gives Cox a small shove.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, don't shove me.
J.D.: Oh, really, why not?
He shoves Cox again
Dr. Cox: Because whenever anyone shoves me more than twice, my mind goes blank and all I see is this white-hot flash of fury.
J.D.: When someone shoves you like this?
He shoves Cox again.
Cut to...
Elliot: So, how'd it go?
Dr. Cox: Punched him in the face.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Wonder Bra? Do you, uh - do you have a second?
J.D.: For what?
Dr. Cox: I'm giving you a hug... Oh. I was wondering what that crane was for... So now, how would you like this whole hug thing to go down? Do you wish to remain seated, would you like to stand? I, of course, don't care, as long as it's under three seconds and I don't feel your breath on my neck.
Ted: Well, it took a whole tube of gel, but I finally got my hair down.
Dr. Kelso: No one male or female ever cared, Ted.
Elliot: Why are you still antagonising him!?
Dr. Cox: I don't know. I can't stop.
J.D.: Hey, Dr. Cox, can I talk to you for a second?
Dr. Cox: Uh, no.
J.D.: Really? Not even just like two seconds to talk to me.
Dr. Cox: Look, Newbie. (his pager beeps) Oh, for God's sake. I'm a little swamped, here. (a nurse hands him a folder) Thank you.
J.D.: You know what sucks? I thought you were actually going to come through for me this time.
Dr. Cox: (to his pager) In a minute! to J.D.) Hey, Newbie? Just in case you didn't actually notice, I have been covering all your patients, answering all your pages, and doing pretty much everything shy of picking up your sundress from the drycleaners.
J.D.: Well, I didn't ask you to do any of that, did I?
Dr. Cox: Outstanding! You're walking away like a pissy little ingrate. I mean, bravo! (starts applauding) Bravo, ah!
Ted walks up and joins in clapping.
Ted: What are we clapping for?
Dr. Cox: His dad just died.
Patient: I'm here for my ear infection.
Dr. Kim: Go in and take your pants off.
Carla: It's impossible to get a doctor to go see a doctor.
Molly: I'm on it.
(In the men's room. Turk is posing with an Afro drawn on the mirror)
Turk: Excuse me...did somebody say they're lookin' for the baaaaddest detective in town?
Molly: Awesome afro. I'm sorry to barge in on you, BUT I'm a little rusty on the medicine side and I was wondering if you could help me. See, I have this patient, constantly tired, always peeing, losing weight.
Turk: You should have him checked out, he might have diabetes.
(They exchange glances)
Turk: ...oh.
