Scrubs Season 4 Episode 10: "My Female Trouble" Quotes
Neena: So should we start this deposition, or do you boys just want to hand us a big bag of money?
Mr. Corman: Big bag of money...
Turk: You aren't going to freeze up around her again, are you Ted?
Ted: No chance. I'm drugged up. Plus, if I concentrate, I think I can control the excessive flop sweat I get the second she speaks!
Christopher Duncan Turk, you tell him how you really feel, just like you told me last night, or I will do it for you. "Baby! Why does he hurt me so bad?"
Carla
Carla: Girls! I want an explanation.
J.D.: Fine. Turk, tell her our code.
Turk: If you haven't had sex in six months, you're not accountable for who you sleep with.
Neena: Morning. I'll see you at the deposition. I'll try not to spank your lawyer as hard as I spanked him last night.
J.D.: Bye! FYI, there was no spanking last night, okay?
Carla: Really? Then this won't hurt. (She smacks him on the ass)
J.D.: Nope.
Turk: Hit him again baby.
J.D.: Why?
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, they're mad. I'm pretty sure it's because of my new girlfriend. She's amazing. Don't get me wrong, she's not the warmest person.
J.D.: You know, the funniest thing happened-
Neena: I'm eating.
J.D.: Sorry. I'm starvin'. Wish I hadn't left my wallet at home. Mmm, bread.
(He reaches for the bread basket and gets his hand slapped)
J.D.'s Narration: Also, the sex could be a little impersonal.
[J.D. is thrown out of the car, shirtless and with his pants down
J.D.: So that's a no on cuddling?
(To Mr. Corman) Here's what's going to happen. You're going to drop this lawsuit because it's wrong and you know it. But also because if you don't, I'm going to pound the plaid right off that shirt and make it so that the only way you'll be able to eat pie is through a straw!
Carla
(To J.D.)Not so fast. You're my bitch now.
Jordan
J.D.: Jordan's making me stretch out her new jeans. (Slaps himself in the ass)
Dr. Cox: Cry me a river. Guess what Gandhi's wife is making me do because I supposedly "broke his spirit."
(Dr. Cox and Mr. Corman are playing tennis, with Corman about to serve)
Mr. Corman: Ever since the operation I've been serving leftie. So it could be a little unpredictable. (He sends down a massive serve that hits Dr. Cox in the stomach and sends him flying into the fence)
(After Ted faints)
Turk: We should take a short recess.
Neena: Believe me, you're better off.
Dr. Kelso: I agree.
J.D.: Okay, this woman is horrifying, so don't panic.
Jordan: I'll be fine.
J.D.: I was talking to myself.
Jordan: You are so much stronger than all the other idiot residents around here.
Elliot: Really?
J.D.: Jordan? I need you to break up with somebody for me.
Jordan: Really.
Elliot: It's going to be worse than the time my brother Barry caught me reading his Playgirl magazines.
Jordan: Don't you mean Playboy?
Elliot: No.
Jordan: So you're saying that your brother's -
Elliot: Yes.
Jordan: Has he actually told your family that -
Elliot: No.
Jordan: But everyone's positive that he's -
Elliot: Yes.
Jordan: Do you think he and another guy have ever -
Elliot: No more questions.
