Scrubs Season 4 Episode 10: "My Female Trouble" Quotes
Life is pointless Gandhi, and I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. The only thing more pointless than life itself is being a doctor. I mean, bottom line, you spend eight years and 200Gs trying to get through med school and what do you have to show for it? I'll tell ya. A diploma on your wall, and a bullseye on your back.
Dr. Cox
Turk: Baby, you know if my malpractice insurance goes through the roof, you're going to have to take a step down lifestyle-wise.
Carla: I live in a tiny apartment with my husband, his best friend, and their dead stuffed dog. What's the step down?
Elliot: So how are we feeling Mr. Summers?
Mr. Summers: I feel like my ex-wife is standing on my chest. And not the pretty one. The fat one that had all my kids.
Elliot: Fantastic! I'd like to start by -
Mr. Summers: Listen, Goldilocks. Unless the next three words out of your mouth are some combination of sponge, bath, and my big white ass, I'm not interested.
Dr. Kelso: You're diabetic?
Turk: Yes. I told you that.
Dr. Kelso: I thought you were joking.
Turk: How is that funny?
Dr. Kelso: Well, it's a very serious disease. And I don't like you.
Dr. Cox: Barbie, the guy's a sexist pig. He's gonna eat you alive.
Elliot: Look, I'm not the same doctor I was four years ago. I'm smarter, I'm more confident -
Dr. Cox: Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Just skip the rest of your "I'll show you speech" and just walk away in a huff. I'm very busy. Thank you!
J.D.: Neena, it's over.
Neena: No it's not. In fact, I find myself oddly turned on by your timid, baby horse standing up for the first time style of humping.
J.D.: First of all, thank you. Secondly, I've tried to be reasonable, now if you wanna see my dark side, you're gonna see my dark side.
(J.D. starts softly tickling Neena)
J.D.: Ah tickle tickle tickle. Ah tickle tickle tickle tickle.
Neena: Yet another strong moment for ya.
Turk: I want you to stop seeing her.
J.D.: Fine. But I'm only ending it because friends come first.
Carla: Plus, you already had sex with her.
J.D.: Four and a half times!
Carla: J.D., how could you do this to Turk? You two are so close that I
occasionally have nightmares of you running away together.
J.D.: Where do we go?
Turk: One time we went to Aspen.
J.D.: Oh, I hope it was summer. I'm not that big a skier.
Elliot: Jordan. You're on the board, what is the story on my patient Mr. Summers?
Jordan: Well Stick, I'm going to warn you the same way I warn Perry every time I have more than three scotches. Prepare to have your ass grabbed!
Elliot: That's disturbing in like... eight different ways.
J.D.'s Narration: No matter how much we like to pretend otherwise, strong confident women will always have the power over us. Whether they're fighting for respect, fighting for their man, or even just fighting for the hell of it. Strong women make all guys feel the same way.
The three women walking down the hall, past the guys who turn into little boys.
Little Cox: Jordan looks mad, I should go.
Little Turk: I have to pick up Carla's dry-cleaning.
Janitor: Well, what do we have here?
Little J.D.: Oh, no.
Janitor: I heard from a reliable source that you want to live in dumpster. I can arrange that. Yep, I know just the right neighborhood.
You come in here and walk around like you're the queen bee. Guess what, Missy. This is my house. You and Mr. Chestless here are over. So move on! Cause if you don't, I'm going to turn your little lame liason into a threesome, starring yours truly. And I don't kiss nice.
Jordan
