Scrubs Season 1 Episode 8: "My Fifteen Minutes" Quotes
Carla: So, do you want to get drunk and beg me to have sex with you now, or do you wanna wait till 2 o'clock tonight?
Turk: Let's wait.
Carla: Cool
Ted: Sir, I've been the hospital's legal counsel for... well, let's just say when I started, I had hair... And a wife and family... The point is, I'll never get a raise without the support of senior staff like yourself.
Dr. Kelso: Can't do it.
Ted: Well, you did what you could!
Elliot: So, what are we doing tonight?
Carla: Oh... go out to dinner, I guess.
Elliot: Ooh, dinner! Where're we gonna eat?
Carla: Oh, I don't know, some restaurant.
Elliot: Mmm! Some restaurant! Be honest, um, does this look, uh, "hip" enough?
Carla: Since when are khakis, a pink shirt, and a neckerchief not hip?
Elliot: True
J.D.'s Narration: I can't evaluate myself.
J.D.: Would you describe me as 'warm', 'professional', or both?
Laverne: I describe you as: I'm on my lunch
J.D.: Dr. Cox? Have you been here the whole time?
Dr. Cox: No; I just came in through the couch door. Move.
J.D.: But I thought you said you were too busy to do my evaluation?
Dr. Cox [watching soap]: I am... Didn't her daddy sell the coal mine?
Laverne: Contract didn't stick.
Dr. Cox: Ohhh. That's interesting
J.D.: She is ta-haasty. Watch me work a little cat-and-mouse game with her.
Turk: She's married to the sound-man, bud. And that little thing that's clipped to your collar, that's a microphone
Janitor: When I saw that it was missing, did you not think I'd come to you?
J.D.: I don't know what you're talking about.
Janitor: Oh. So you're gonna play it that way, huh? Touche
Turk: What makes you think I'd wanna be part of this, J.D.?
J.D.: I don't know! Kelso said it would make us role models. I guess I just assumed that-
Turk: Yeah, everybody assumes that I'm a good athlete, or-or-or that I grew up poor, or that I love 'Sanford and Son'.
J.D.: But you do love 'Sanford and Son'... We both do
Turk: Remember our college brochures?
J.D.: So what, they put you on the cover.
Turk: Twice?
Turk: You know, you're gonna have to see her eventually.
Carla: No I don't, 'cause I know the layout to the air-duct system here like the back of my hand
Carla: Elliot, there's no excuse for what I did.
Elliot: No, there's not... Are we done?
Carla: I'm really sorry.
Elliot: Don't be. If I was going out with my friend, I wouldn't invite you... Who am I kidding. Yes, I would, and she'd probably like you better and neither one of you would ever talk to me again