Scrubs Season 4 Episode 4: "My First Kill" Quotes
Molly: Don't push me. 'Cause one of the reasons I became a therapist is I've always been able to zero in on a person's greatest insecurity.
Elliot: Ohhh, I'm real scared, Molly, what'cha gonna-
Molly: Eyebrows.
J.D.: "Eyebrows." Like that's gonna make you-
Tears stream down Elliot's face.
J.D.: Elliot, come on, you can't be that insecure.
Elliot: Giant Adam's apple!
J.D.: I have to go.
J.D.'s Narration: Elliot's comment didn't bother me, because I'm proud of the body God gave me.
Molly: Did you just page me so you could rub my face in this?
Elliot: Yes. Uh, there's also a couple of messages on your home machine.
Molly: Look, Elliot, I hope I'm wrong, and I hope he stays clean. Let's just not make this personal, okay?
Elliot: Said the loser. Who lost.
Carla: Where, where am I gonna find a dead stuffed yellow lab?
Janitor: I can help.
Carla: No, you have work to do.
They both laugh
Janitor: Let's go.
J.D.'s Narration: Bullet dodged! He totally bought it! Hey, where's he taking me?
Dr. Cox: Mr. Daniels. We have rethought things and decided that you should have that procedure.
Mr. Daniels: Okay.
Dr. Cox: I know that took quite a bit of cajoling, but I think I was able to convince him.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Clock. Edwards, here, is at best just a few minutes away from walking towards the light, so what's say you stop wasting our time and give me your professional opinion.
J.D.'s Narration: Of course, sometimes friends will surprise you.
Molly: Mr. Phillips' numerous relapses paint the picture of someone who has not overcome his addictions, sooo, no, I don't think he will.
Elliot: Karaoke's so off!
J.D.'s Narration: Still, we all end up leaning on certain clichs when making major decisions. Like, "Don't jump off a bridge if you don't know how deep the water is."
J.D.: This procedure's too risky right now, Mr. Daniels, I think we should wait.
J.D.'s Narration: And, of course, the classic, "No matter how clean the janitor gets your husband's dead dog, you still need to put him in the trunk and not accidentally leave him on the roof when you drive off."... And finally, the lesser-known, "You can accomplish anything with a friend by your side."
Elliot: Anyway, because of the heroin use, surgery doesn't want to give Mr. Phillips a heart valve. So now an ethics committee is gonna decide if he gets the operation or not. And I'm freakin' out, because I've gotta go and argue his case at... Oh my God! Is it already two o'clock!?
Molly: Oh, relax, that's Greenland time. This way I remember to call my mom on her vacation before she goes on the boat.
Elliot: "The boat"?
Molly: Yeah, she's been sleeping with a commercial salmon fisherman.
Elliot: How fun for her!
Ted: What happened to all the cute little squirrels, Flo?
Flashback: Janitor's Garage
Janitor: Let's call this meeting to order. Uh, first things first, I counted the ballots, and, uh, someone voted twice. Interesting. I'm not pointing fingers - Troy.
End Flashback
Janitor: There were never any squirrels.
Janitor: Heard you're trying to clean a dead dog.
Carla: Yeah, who told you that?
Janitor: Mmm, the wind... Blonde doctor.
Fantasy
J.D.: Listen, dead people, do any of you feel that I may have, you know... killed you?
Mr. Bursky: No.
Mr. Simon: I mean, you weren't a great doctor.
Elaine: He was nervous.
Mrs. Tanner: Oh, like a little bird! But no, dear. You didn't kill any of us.
J.D.: You know what? I left my wallet back on earth.
End Fantasy
J.D.: Haha! Suckers!
Your sign doesn't say live dog groomer!
Carla
