Scrubs Season 2 Episode 7: "My First Step" Quotes
Dr. Kelso: So, Mr. Brooks is doing peachy, huh?
Carla: Peachy-keen.
Dr. Kelso: Great. Great! A patient's improvement is always cause for celebration here at Sacred Heart. And yet, for some reason, I'm not wearing a party hat, sitting bare-ass on the hospital's copier machine. You know why? It's not because I have the name Johnny tattooed on my butt - he's an old sailor buddy, and if you went through what we did, you'd understand.
Julie: So, how's the guest list for tonight's steak dinner shaping up?
Dr. Cox: Well, now, I don't have any definitive confirmations yet, but, admittedly, that could be because I haven't asked anyone.
Julie: Why does it have to be like this every time I come here? I mean, what is your problem with me?
Dr. Cox: Okay. Well, for starters, everyone here knows that you sell pills, and yet you use phrases like "take orally" and "increases blood flow" way, way too much. I mean, jeepers, Julie, don't you understand you got half the doctors on this staff believing that if they go ahead and join team Plomox, that they got an outside shot of you showing them the cotton inside your bottle? Would you like to know the real dirty, dirty little secret? It's that your drug is so damn good that you guys went ahead and put a six-hundred percent mark-up on it. But, hey, the only ones who get hurt are the sick people, right? And since your company damn-sure doesn't care about them, and you're part of the system, that just means you don't care, either. And that's... pretty much what's making me sick; that's all.
Julie: Well, you can say what you want, Perry. But we both know that you'd love nothing more than to smack this fine ass.
J.D.: All right, so you promise me you're gonna be more careful, right?
Mike: Look, dude, the only way to feel alive is to push the limits once in a while. You know?
J.D.: Well... Keep it real!
Mike: Oh, God. See ya, geek!
J.D.: Buy a cup!
Julie: Hello, boys and girl! So, how's the food?
Todd: Mmm.
Turk: Free!
Julie: And how are you, Dr. Cox?
(She leans over, practically spilling her breasts out of her top)
Dr. Cox: Look, I'm just here to enjoy my meal, so unless those things dispense A-1 sauce, I'd keep movin'.
Carla: You know what? I'm on my second glass of good wine, I'm watching my boyfriend try to eat his body-weight in meat, and I am extremely tickled that the only thing Dr. Cox wants isn't on the menu. Ha!
Dr. Cox: What?
Carla: Oh, what can I say? I'm finally having a good time.
Dr. Cox: That'll pass.
Todd: I still think it's pretty lame that you didn't like Turk's nurse practitioner present.
Turk: Dude.
Dr. Cox: Told ya.
Todd: Well, seriously, why wouldn't you want a better job?
Turk: Hold up. My Baby's happy with being just a nurse. Did I say "Just a nurse"? I didn't mean "just a nur-". Nobody at this table said "just-". I meant: "A Nurse." Right, Baby?
Carla: That's right!
Todd: Why?
Dr. Cox: Oh, just not smart. Even for you.
Carla: Excuse me for not having all your male ambition. I can't believe anyone would look down on me because I'm good at what I do, and because I love doing it!
Turk: I'm sick to my stomach.
Carla: Me too, Turk! Me too!
Turk: No, Baby, I'm serious; I think I'm in trouble here.
Dr. Cox: How's, uh, how's MeatHead?
Carla: I know I'm not a doctor, but if you could order a strong antiemetic, that would be great.
Dr. Cox: For the record, you know you would ace that nurse practitioners program.
Carla: Really? You think so? Well, what if the classes are too hard? What if the teachers are mean? What if the other kids don't like me?
J.D.: You see that nurse over there? I love her. Every night at 10:30 for the last year, I've watched her come in here and get a cup of coffee. And not once have I had the courage to even ask her her name.
Elliot: Well, if it makes you feel any better, she has a snaggletooth.
Mike: Dude, you're gonna love this!
J.D.: I don't wanna do it.
Elliot: Come on, what's the worst that could happen?
J.D.: We could die!
Elliot: Okay, the second worst?
