Scrubs Season 4 Episode 15: "My Hypocritical Oath" Quotes
Dr. Cox: I don't have any idea how they might have gotten in here, Bob. But I can tell you this: If you think I'm missing the biggest game of the year, you got another thing-
Dr. Kelso: I hate to interrupt you, but I'm still feeling a little woozy from being shot into my wall like a lawn dart. So why don't you just go work your shift and use my VCR to tape the game?
Dr. Cox: When did you get this?
Dr. Kelso: Right about the time we couldn't afford that M.R.I. machine.
Dr. Cox: Ah, of course you did.
Ted: Here's the key to Kelso's office.
Dr. Cox: And here's Nurse Tisdale's phone number.
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, I have thought about it, and I am not going to just stand around and wait for Mr. Chang to die.
Dr. Kelso: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: Are you kidding me? Barbie going toe-to-toe with Big Bob in a battle of the annoyings? Well, happy birthday to me!
Elliot: We should do an exchange transfusion.
Dr. Cox: And the southpaw with the blonde bangs and the big britches comes out sa-winging!
Dr. Kelso: Sweetheart, the man is seventy-two and in multisystem organ dysfunction. It's done! It's parasites one, person zero! And if you tell that family he's got a chance, all you're doing is raising their hopes.
Dr. Cox: Ohhh! Tremendous body blow!
Dr. Kelso: Oh, and for the record, we're not colleagues. I don't care what you think.
Dr. Cox: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! And the fight goes to the stocky middleweight from Monroeville, Pennsylvania!
Dr. Kelso: By the way, Perry, Mickhead called in sick. I need you to work tonight.
Dr. Cox: Well, yeah, that's well and good, but I'm not available.
J.D.: What's this stretch good for?
Turk: It loosens up my chest. But you should probably stretch too.
J.D.: Don't need to, buddy - I got a tube of Ben-Gay on each one of my hamstrings.
Elliot: Do you believe that guy?
Dr. Cox: I never cease to be amazed by the depth of his cynicism and callousness.
Elliot: So, what do you think we should do?
Dr. Cox: Oh, I don't care. I'm going home to watch the Lakers play the Heat. It's the game of the year - Shaq versus Kobe. And you are going to stay here and deal with this yourself.
Elliot: Shaq versus Kobe?
Dr. Cox: All the best.
J.D.'s Narration: Let's face it: What a doctor says and what they mean are often two different things.
Elliot: I know Dr. Robbins treated your husband in the E.R., but we're gonna approach this case a bit differently.
Subtitle: Robbins is an idiot.
Mrs. Chang: And it's very comforting to have the chief of medicine here.
Dr. Kelso: I took a special interest in this case.
Subtitle: I was thinking about food, and accidentally wandered over here.
Mrs. Chang: Oh, thank you!
Todd: Hey, Elliot. Your boobies look hot today.
Subtitle: Hey Elliot, your boobies look hot today.
