Scrubs Season 4 Episode 14: "My Lucky Charm" Quotes
Carla: Yo, who taught you how to fight like that?
Elliot: When you grow up in an orchard, you don't have much choice... Apple thieves.
Elliot: I'm glad Billy's gone. He's such a jerk. He kept calling me "bonny."
Carla: "Bonny" means "pretty."
Elliot: Oh, my God! I will never love like that again!
Jordan: You know what, I'd love to stay and chat, but if we're late for ballet, Jack won't get a spot by the bathroom and then he'll pee in his tights.
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, my son is taking...is taking ballet? Come on, Jordan, he's already got an overbearing mother and a fairly prominent lisp. If we stick him in the tights, well, we might as well just go ahead and get him a timeshare on Fire Island.
J.D.: He put a guy in the hospital; that's a felony. And as doctors we're supposed to report him.
Turk: Are you trying to convince me to do something that you already did? 'Cause you know that drives me crazy!
J.D.: No! This is a decision we both need to make! Together! As a team, as a unit!
Turk: All right, fine, let's call the cops.
J.D.: Thank God.
Policeman: Hello, gentlemen. We got a call about a felony from a Dr. Turk?
J.D.: "Turk"'s easier to hear over the phone.
Billy: How you doing?
Jerry: Not great, actually. I'm dead.
Billy: Bummer. How long?
Jerry: Four years next month.
Billy: Geez, that's a nightmare. I was dead once, for about ten minutes. Then me mate Danny peed on me head.
Jerry: Really?
Billy: It's quite a sight to wake up to.
Carla: Where the hell have you been for the last few days?
Dr. Cox: Deep-sea fishing.
Carla: You hate fishing.
Dr. Cox: Went with my buddies.
Carla: You don't have any buddies.
Dr. Cox: Oh, yeah? Well, we landed a two hundred pound white marlin off the coast of San Diego.
Janitor: Interesting. 'Cause that's three thousand miles from the natural habitat of the white marlin. Hmm. Well, perhaps it hopped a train from Cape Cod!
Dr. Cox: Why!?
Janitor: I'm bustin' chops today. You can ask anybody.
Carla: It's true.
Janitor: See?
Carla: Where have you been?
Dr. Cox: Fishing.
Carla: You hate fishing.
Dr. Cox: I went with my friends.
Carla: You don't have friends.
Billy: I'll just put it out there, do it as a favor, is there any chance I could get one of these filled with Guinness? I've an awful hangover, me head is split, we had a late night last night, as you can see, and I'm a bit shaky. Is there any chance?
J.D.: Probably not. We don't usually do that.
Billy: Oh. Okay.
Cox: You look so hot. When's the last time we kissed?
Jordan: About a month ago.
Cox: When's the last time we had sex?
Jordan: Yesterday.
As Turk and I recuperated from our big chair swap, I wondered what other couples were doing tonight. Did I just refer to Turk and I as a couple? My point is, I'm sure other couples were out having fun.
J.D.'s Narration
J.D.: Hey that is a cool tattoo, my brother!
Billy: Oh yeah! Got this snuck on a plane, thought I was going to Belgium ended up in Kenya. Long story short, I hung out with this tribe, where the males go through adolescence, they get this tattoo. It means Alias.
J.D.: Oh, why Alias?
Billy: It's their favorite show.
J.D. & Turk: Ohhhhh.
Billy: I'm only kidding, I don't know what it means.
Top of the mizzle to you my lizzle.
Leprechaun Turk
