Scrubs Season 5 Episode 2: "My Rite of Passage" Quotes
Elliot: Look, Carla, I didn't want you to come here because... well... Look, there's so much great about you - you're smart, you're loyal, you've absolutely shattered all of my preconceived notions about chicanos!
Carla: Elliot? Bring it.
Elliot: You're a bit of a gossip.
Carla: So? I'm interested in people's stories!
Elliot: Thanks to you, for the rest of my career I have the world's worst nickname!
Carla: "Bankfarter"'s not so bad. It sounds German!
Fellowship Director: Hey, Bankfarter, did you hear? Charlie found a successful gene therapy for O.I. He basically cured the disease.
Elliot: How did he have any time to work when he was always torturing me!?
Fellowship Director: Jealousy's an ugly color, Bankfarter. Anyway, we're discontinuing your fellowship.
Jordan: I'm not sure how people go about doing these things...(pulls out some cash) but here. You should be there for your daughter's birthday.
Mr. Thompson: I can't take that.
Jordan: Come on... I can't even Botox an ear with this.
Hey! Why don't you guys go upstairs and do some work? And for God's sakes, will somebody wake up Gloria?
J.D.
Elliot: Seriously, if you tell, I will never trust you again with anything.
Dr. Kelso: Where've you been?
Carla: Nowhere!
Dr. Mickhead: What're you doing?
Carla: Nothing!
Janitor: How's Blonde Doctor?
Carla: Cheese!
Laverne: What's the dish?
Carla: I gotta go!
Turk: Hey!
Carla: No hablo Ingls!
Turk: Oh my God, you got that little bit of saliva on your lip that says you know something juicy!
Carla: No, I don't.
Turk: Here it comes... YES!
Carla: Oh, okay, here's the scoop!
Mr. Thompson: Hey, lambchop. Uh, crazy story - I was, uh, I was taking a bus to my plane ticket, there was an accident, and thank God I'm alive. I'd hug you but I, uh, uuuggghhh!
Dr. Kelso: Jordan. Uh, this is one of our most famous con artist-slash-drug addicts.
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: You as well. Turkleton? You've dealt with him before-
Mr. Thompson: Hey, dude!
Dr. Kelso: Why didn't you tell her?
Turk: 'Cause he told me not to!
Dr. Cox: This is gonna cost you.
J.D.: We were gonna do Multi-Ethnic Siamese Doctor Has a Fresca, but then Turk started getting on my case about my interns!
Turk: He's mad because they're sucking up to him. And I was sayin', Dude, that's the exact same thing you did with Dr. Cox.
J.D.: You know what? Put our right hand in front of your face... Now talk to it!
Turk: Dude, get up - I gotta go to the bathroom.
J.D.'s Narration: As I went to the men's room with Turk, praying he only had to go onesies...
Carla: So, Jordan, I heard Sam got you. Don't worry, he totally suckered me once.
Laverne: When I first started, I lent my car to a patient to go pick up her kids? Last time I ever saw that hotrod.
Dr. Cox: It's a rite of passage that you have to go through around here to be accepted.
Jordan: Oh my God! You actually did something nice for me!
Dr. Cox: No, no. No no no no no no no. It was a selfish act. If other people talk to you, you won't have to talk to me!
