Scrubs Season 5 Episode 2: "My Rite of Passage" Quotes
That's a lotta boys. Rex gets first dibs because I opened his chest with a buzz saw.
J.D.
Jordan: I am your new friend, so suck it!
J.D.: I gotta go talk to my boys!
Carla: Oh, and I have to go talk to Elliot.
Turk: No, wait, don't leave me!
Dr. Kelso: You seem to be developing quite the rapport with your interns.
J.D.: We even spent this weekend building a house for the homeless.
J.D.: Hey, Turk, I'm gonna go across the street and get some coffee. You want one?
Turk: Get me a small one-pump mocha.
J.D.'s Narration: The perfect set-up to a joke, but no one's around to hear!
J.D.: Sir, I'd love to chat but it's already 8. I've got to rock and roll.
Dr. Cox: I beg your pardon?
(J.D.'s in the corner with Dr. Cox's interns.)
J.D.: I'm an attending!
Dr. Cox: Tell it to the wall, Newbie.
That dog just laughed at a pun.
J.D.
Maybe he's from the International Pretentious Association and he's here to remove your goatee.
Dr. Cox
Dr. Kelso: (About the drug patient) Turkelton, you've dealt with him before. Why didn't you tell her?
Turk: Because he told me not to. (Points to Dr. Cox)
Dr. Cox: This is going to cost you.
Turk: Get off my back I'm not in the mood.
Jason: Did we do something wrong, Dr. Dorian?
J.D.: No, you guys are fine. You're doing a good job.
J.D.'s Narration: Still, good guy or not, there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy the perks.
J.D.: You know what, I want the laughter back!
J.D.'s Narration: As for me, I already knew exactly what the truth was. Plus, my best friend was always around to back me up.
J.D.: How funny is this joke: "That patient's tumor is so big, it's starting to look like a 'threemor'!" Heh heh heh...
Keith: "Threemor"! You are hilarious, Dr. D.!
Turk: Awful. Awful. Awful!
Okay, be cool. They're just kids... Except Gloria. What is her deal?
J.D.'s Narration
Keith: Look! Your jokes kind of suck, and when I laugh you pick me to do procedures!
J.D.: Unbelievable. From now on, there is absolutely no laughing at my jokes unless they're particularly hysterical. Talk about your Mission Impossibles.
