Scrubs Season 3 Episode 3: "My White Whale" Quotes
Sean: J.D., may I offer a little constructive criticism?
J.D.'s Narration: Kick him in the crotch dammit! The crotch!
Sean: J.D., it's no big deal. We both know that it wasn't about that. Well, you... you like Elliot.
J.D.: Sorry.
Sean: Don't sweat it.
J.D.: You're not pissed off? I'd be pissed off. Why aren't you pissed off?
Sean: I dunno. I guess I just... I don't see you as that much of a threat.
J.D.: Ohh... Cool.
Dr. Cox: Disturbing fetishes aside, I-I feel like I owe you an apology on account of acting like a jackass. But I don't think that my son should be the one who has to pay for it.
Dr. Norris: You actually think that I would endanger the health of a child because you're a jackass? Look, buddy, most of the parents I deal with are jackasses; now, don't get me wrong, you're in the top five.
J.D.: Hey, Sean, you were right about me and my interns. I guess I owe you an apology.
Carla: Damn straight, you do! You know what your problem is, Bambi? You're-
Turk picks her up and carries her off.
Carla: Oh! Turk! Please? Just one more second? I need the rush! Please? I'm coming back for you!
Bruce performs a beatboxing routine
Elliot: Oh, my God, Bruce! That was amazing! Where did you learn how to do that?
Bruce: In temple.
Elliot: And... the reason that I came back here is because you said that Bruce and I are alike. And you know what? You're right. Because you're treating him the exact same way you treated me when I first got here! Dr. Kelso, you only judge us by these, like, twenty-minute, pressure-filled windows that you see us through twice a week, and you-you never get to know us or how hard we really work. Because, if you did, you'd realize that a lot of the times we fail, it's not our fault - it's yours.
Dr. Kelso: Is that how you feel, future dentist?
Bruce: W-well... sometimes you make me feel like... I can't do anything well, and I can do lots of things well!
Dr. Kelso: Like what?
Bruce: I'm a pretty solid human beat-box.
Elliot: Bru-Bruce, I think he was talking about medical... things.
Dr. Kelso: That's horrible work. Horrible!
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, I do have something to say.
He gives her a blank look.
Elliot: Remember earlier, you asked me if I had something to say?
Dr. Kelso: No!
Elliot: Well, you did.
