Scrubs Season 2 Quotes
Jenny: Are you talking to your chili dog!?
Turk: What? Hey! Uh, yeah, well, I find that they don't repeat on me as much if I'm real friendly to 'em.
Jenny: What?
Turk: Nothing, it's just-it's just weird seeing you out in the real world, you know, I feel kind of guilty. 'Cause you're so nice to me and my buddy, and we've never even had a real conversation. Instead, we act like school kids and argue over who we think you got a crush on.
Jenny: Oh, it's totally you.
Turk: Wha-?
Jenny: Vanilla over chocolate? Please.
Janitor: How you doing.
J.D.: Did you just climb down an elevator shaft to torment me?
Janitor: Well, sometimes in life you gotta do what you gotta do.
Elliot: Paul. I know that I've been acting like an insecure idiot, but... if you'll forgive me, I'd love to take you for dinner tonight.
Paul: Screw that. I'll cook for you. I've only got one apron, though, so bring your own if you want to wear one.
Elliot: Dr. Cox, you're a waxer?!
Dr. Cox: Hark! It is the high-pitched wobble of the Nosey Nelly. You don't see many of those flitting around these halls anymore because, quite frankly, when one does, one shoots to kill. Now bar-bie, Jordan is here for her ultrasound today and I'm going to be holding her claw the entire time so, what you've just done is essentially volunteered to do all of your work and all of mine. And if you'll step right this way I be more than glad to tell you more about you've won.
Dr. Cox: Alrighty there doctor leverage 'cause here's the real inside scoop. I could literally sculpt a gigantic Mr. Burnett after what I just removed from Mr. Burnett. So I really think its in your best interest for you to start talking. Should I get the child a baseball glove or a tutu?
Elliot: Well, girls can play baseball too.
Jordan, be reasonable. If you're incubating some kind of man-bat in there, we should find out about it as soon as possible - there are vaccinations to consider.
Dr. Cox
Dr. Kelso: No offense, sport. Don't think I have anything against ugly people.
J.D.: Why would I take offense to that?
Dr. Kelso: No reason.
Dr. Kelso: There he is!
Dr. Townshend: Missed you on our morning jog, Bobby. What is that now, about two hundred days in a row?
Dr. Kelso: You're a pistol!
J.D.: The only place this guy's running to is to a bakery! Who's got me up high?
Dr. Kelso: Ehhh.
Dr. Townshend: Uh, mistake you made there, J.D.: You didn't pat his belly - it soothes him.
J.D.: Ahhh. Dammit.
Carla: It's so beautiful.
Turk: Yeah, well, you know, I woulda showed it to you before you left, but, uh... I couldn't get to it. And that is a long story.
Carla: I want to thank you for not pressuring me. I mean, don't get me wrong, you left me like forty messages in five days; but... I know you - if you weren't holding back, it woulda been like a hundred and forty.
Turk: I do love the speed dial!
J.D.: I still can't believe I power-walked 'butt-naked' through the halls of the hospital last night.
Turk: My man, I know that wasn't you.
J.D.: How?
Turk: I'm not really proud of this, but I can pick your puff-'n'-stuff out of a line-up.
J.D.: Oh, it changed since you saw it - it got a haircut.
Turk: Yeah.
J.D.: That was good, Kevin! We should-we should make him, like, make dinner for us tonight. He could be our own personal slave!
Kevin: Our own personal what, now?
J.D.: Oh, no, I don-I don't mean like that kind of slave.
Kevin: Well, how 'bout this: How 'bout he be the house slave, and I be the field slave. That sound like fun to you?
J.D.: That-that wouldn't be fun...
Turk: What's going on?
Kevin: I forgot how much fun it was messing with Alfalfa!
