Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: Kelso had a point. I mean, in the outside world you'll occasionally see a stream of cars drive by an old woman with a flat tire. But around here, every time you round a corner, well...
(A couple are talking to a doctor, the woman's face bruised and swollen.)
Husband: She fell again.
Dennis: Well, look who's back.
Jake: Look, buddy, I, uh, I barely know your sister, and I certainly don't know you, but like it or not, she told me what she wanted and I'm gonna honor that. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and stay here 'til I can figure out a way to make you understand that, even if I have to get myself a lawyer.
(Ted leans in with a post-it.)
Jake: Not you.
Turk: I've got something I'd like to share today.
Carla: Really?
Turk: Yeah. I don't like it when Carla pinches my nipples when we're having sex. Baby, that's-that's one of the reasons why I cry - because you pinch them too hard, and it hurts.
Carla: Anyway, I worry that sometimes when I'm tense, I could be a little condescending.
Therapist: Actually, I've noticed that.
Carla: Have you really noticed it, "Mr. Therapist"?
J.D.: Look, you're gonna do whatever you want with your sister, but Jake's just trying to help. He's a stand-up guy, I think you should leave him alone. If you do, I think it would be dy-no-mite! Sorry, I was just watching 'Good Times' in the doctors' lounge.
Dennis: Yeah. I'm gonna screw him to the wall.
Hat's off, there, Barbie. That was one potent combination of verbal diarrhea and stunned silence.
Dr. Cox
Back to your room Mr. Johnson, you've got one ventricle!
J.D.
I don't have a ring, but you can kiss my ass.
Elliot
Elliot: With all due respect Dr. Cox, maybe I should talk to her.
Dr. Cox: With no due respect whatsoever... why?
Elliot: She's a teenager girl, that's a confusing time. Your breasts are growing... not always symmetrically. Uh... you like boys, maybe one gives you a ride home, you think maybe something's going to happen but it doesn't, and that just makes it official that you're a lopsided freak! Happy ending though. Lefty caught up in college.
Dr. Cox: Barbie! I have a finite amount of brain space, and your inspiring story of the little breast who couldn't just pushed out my memory of the 1980 Olympic hockey team's victory at Lake Placid. Miracle on ice: gone.
Elliot: Ah! Well, if it isn't the happy couple! And Turk's here too.
(Silence)
Elliot: Oookay, are we not laughing about this yet?
Ted: (Playfully punching the Janitor) Hey there, little boy blue!
Janitor: Don't punch the new uni'.
Ted: (Still punching the Janitor) Little boy blue, blow your horn... (laughs and leaves)
Janitor: ...he didn't stop.
J.D.'s Narration: After sharing a quick victory dance with Roland, the heavy-set orderly who, coincidentally, was my victory dance coach...
Roland: Pop the hips, pop the hips J.D.
J.D.: OK, there it is. Thanks Roland, one day I'll get it.
Roland: I doubt it.
