Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Jordan:I'm taking Jack to my mother's for a few months. Perry: Yes,but who'll be taking care of Jack while you and your mother go out marauding for flesh?
Hooch: By the by, Johnny told me that you were responsible for my...brothy shower the other day.
Turk: Well, you know...
Hooch: If it happens again, I'm gonna take one of your fingers. That'll be my... funny prank.
Yo, Hooch is seriously crazy.J.D.
Turk: Who are these guys?
J.D.: These are the last eight guys in the hospital who don't realize I suck at basketball.
J.D.: Okay, so here's what's gonna happen: I finally mastered my running hook-shot, okay?
J.D.: So when we go to pick teams, I'm gonna hit that shot. Then you say, "I'll take that guy!" At which point, Carla is gonna page me. And I'll say, "Crap, I gotta go." And you go, "Damn! We just lost the best player out here!" Then there'll be eight guys in the hospital who think I'm good at sports, and word will spread.
Turk: When do you find time to see your patients?
J.D.: Between these thoughts.
Dr. Kelso: No, I'm here because the budget's a mess. Ted's not making much headway.
Ted: Three-twelve times four-eighty-one equals... Sir, it's not giving me the answer!
Dr. Kelso: It's a typewriter, you jackass!
Turk: Yo, they call me Chris One. What's the dealio?
J.D.: [Wearing a wizard's hat] Welcome to our lair. I'm an eighth level ogre magi with invisibility. And this is Randall. [Points at ornamental dragon]
Ted: If you need some happy pills, they're in the top drawer.
Jordan: In this hell-hole, I'll need a gun!
Ted: Bottom left.
Dr. Kelso: How would you like to make this a full-time job?
Jordan: I'll have to think about it!
Dr. Cox stares incredulously at Kelso
Dr. Kelso: How could you not see this coming?
I can't believe you talked me into this! I will never get this fellowship - I don't interview well. It's the reason I didn't get into Harvard. The second the professor asked me what I hoped to accomplish in college, my nose started bleeding, and I sneezed and splattered his shirt with blood.Elliot
Turk: You know how you're prone to overly sensitive girly displays of sentimentality?
Lonnie: Thanks for that.
Jordan: Keep movin', fetus face.
Well, look, Carla, Jake makes me happy! Plus, there's a decent chance he'll be my second serious boyfriend not to end up in bed with my mom or my brother Barry.Elliot