Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
So, Doug, this is the morgue!... Hm. Cute, the little toe-tag. Like a present.
Elliot
Turk: Mr. Corman, a nurse said this was a full-on emergency.
Mr. Corman: I just came from the courts. It's been six weeks since you did my shoulder surgery, and my serve still has no pop. No zip, I tell ya!
Carla: You have to understand that this is a healing process.
Mr. Corman: Who invited Nurse Twitchy?
Turk: Okay, Mr. Corman, for the- How many visits is this?
Mr. Corman: Twenty-seven.
Turk: Okay, for the twenty-seventh time, we're gonna ask you to do your therapy and just be patient.
Mr. Corman: I have a singles match against my mother on Monday. I lose to her, I lose my pride... I'm assuming these Q-Tips are complimentary.
Doug: Elliot, I know everyone thinks I'm this huge screw-up, but I just want you to know that I'm gonna turn it around!
Elliot: Doug! This is a quarantined area!
Mr. Corman: I thought that we could head over to my tennis club - I'll show you what's going on with my serve.
Can you hop a tall fence? I'm a little behind on my dues.
Turk: Sure, a black guy breaking in to a country club. Mm, nothing bad could happen there!
Mr. Corman: Yeah, fine. Okay, I'll go practice, I'll tell you how it went - just gimme your cell phone number.
Turk: All right, that's it. Look, Mr. Corman, I will see you whenever I have office hours, but I will not see you outside of this hospital. And there is no way that I would ever give you my cell phone number! No matter how awesome or perfect it may be! Are we clear on that?
Mr. Corman: Yes, doctor.
Janitor: Maybe it's just me, but... I wouldn't put up with that.
Mr. Corman: I'm listening.
Neena: You're sweet.
J.D.'s Narration: Oh my God, is she flirting with me?
Neena: Oh my God, am I flirting with you?
J.D.'s Narration: Oh my God, is she psychic?
J.D.: Listen, I know you hate everything about Miss Broderick, but her father is in need of medical care, and it is our medical obligation to treat him, whether his daughter is a murderer, a drug addict, or a terrorist.
Dr. Cox: I know, but a lawyer?
J.D.: Even a lawyer.
Dr. Cox: I'm not gonna lie to you there, Newbie, you really impressed me by parroting my ethical speech back to me. What the hell got into you?
J.D.'s Narration: As for me, I didn't have to say anything and he knew.
Zooms down the hall to Neena, who winks at J.D.
Dr. Cox: Ohh, Priscilla, you are so busted!
J.D.'s Narration: Dammit, he sees like a hawk!
Dr. Cox: So now, what, she just bats her eyes and you change your tune? Who in the hell am I kidding? Of course you fell for her act, you're the loneliest guy in this hospital!
Carla: Oh, no, he's not the loneliest guy. That's the loneliest guy. Watch this... Excuse me?
She taps Lloyd on the shoulder
Lloyd: Mmmmm.
J.D.: For your information, there's a certain foxy nurse that requested my services at her apartment just last weekend.
Flashback: There's bouncing and jostling of a bed.
J.D.: Hold on. I'm almost there!
He backs away from the bed.
J.D.: Okay! Your new bed's all in. What now?
Nurse: You leave.
She turns to her shirtless date and they begin making out
J.D.: Still don't understand why he couldn't do it.
J.D.: All right, even if I am a little desperate, Neena was not playing me.
Neena: I was playing you.
J.D.: You're just saying that because he's here.
Neena: No, I manipulated you.
J.D.: You're just saying that because he's here.
Neena: Ookay, we seem to be in a bit of a loop here, so I'm just gonna step over and talk to this one.
J.D.: What are you doing here?
Elliot: Ah. Hiding from Doug. He asked me a question I haven't answered yet. You?
J.D.: I was trying to make a dramatic exit. I thought this was a patient's room.
Elliot: Right.
