Scrubs Season 5 Quotes
Elliot: Oh my god, he looks so sad.
Carla: I just want to hold him like a big, gay baby.
Turk: This is incredible, an hour ago you hated him!
Carla: An hour ago he wasn't our new, gay best friend!
I dole out compliments, at most, once a year and, like a squirrel, you must gather up these acorns of kind words to sustain you for the upcoming cold, sarcastic months.
Dr. Cox
Carla: Hey, how could your intern Lisa sleep with him?
Elliot: She is a tramp with no morals.
Lisa: I didn't sleep with The Todd.
Elliot: Lisa is sweet and people just don't give her a chance.
Dr. Kelso: Just because I can't hear your silly-ass whispering doesn't mean I'm old. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go over to my office and tinker with my new computer.
Turk: Ooh, what kind is it?
Dr. Kelso: It's about 3:30.
So, now, Davey boy, I promise you we're going to find you a kidney. I would literally swear on my father's grave but whenever I go there I usually just end up dancing on it.
Dr. Cox
J.D.: Remember what you told me? The second you start blaming yourself for peoples' deaths there's no coming back.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, you're right.
J.D.: You know what I was thinking the whole time I was with Jill?
Dr. Cox: No,what?
J.D.: God, this girl is annoying.
Dr. Cox: Once you start blaming yourself for deaths that aren't your fault, my friend... that's a slippy slope that you can't come back from it. Trust me, I've seen it ruin a hell a lot of good doctors, and I will not let it happen to you.
J.D.'s narration: And because he said that...I know it wouldn't.
Todd: Hey Mickhead! Is that package for me? You know it is!
Turk: You ladies must be so proud.
Elliot: Todd, what are you doing?
Todd: I'm getting my gay-on. Hey buddy, you and I should totally have sex sometime.
Turk: See, I knew this was going to come back to me.
Mrs.Tracy: You can have her organs.
J.D.: Thank you
Mrs.Tracy: Just tell me one thing, is there anything that anyone could have done?
J.D.: No.
J.D.'s narration: Unless you mean me.
Surgeon: Todd, you were impressive in surgery today.
Todd: Thanks man! You were really impressive in the shower this morning. You know, dong wise.
Dr. Cox: God. Could this be anymore of a nightmare?
Jill: Guys!
J.D.'s narration: Yes. It could be more of a nightmare. Jill Tracy was a former patient that had once tried to kill herself. Sad, yes. But this did not change the fact that she was unbelievable annoying.
Jill: Oh, my god. What are you doing here? I was supposed to meet a guy for a date. I know what you are thinking: a Tuesday lunch in a supermarket, he is so not into her. Well, he is not! (J.D. and Dr. Cox fake laugh) I waited like an hour, just thinking: How many more guys can totally reject me without saying 'enough'? You know. So, would you like to get some lunch.
J.D.: Oh, we have to get back to the hospital
Dr. Cox: You know what, Newbie? Stay, have lunch. (Runs quickly out of the store)
