Popular Seinfeld Quotes
George: (on Kramer) He stole your girlfriend?
Susan: Yes. She's in love with him.
George: Amazing. I drive them to lesbianism, he brings 'em back.
Elaine: When you're with a guy, and he tells you he has to get up early, what does that mean?
Jerry: It means he's lying.
There should be a B.O. squad that patrols the city like a "Smell Gestapo". To sniff 'em out, strip 'em down, and wash them with a big, soapy brush...
Jerry
Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.
Jerry
(to Elaine) I opened the car door this morning; it was like a punch in the face! It was almost as if the smell GAINED strength overnight.
Jerry
The "B" is gone, but the "O" is still there!
Jerry
What am I, hard of smelling?
Elaine
George: Is it my imagination, or do really good-looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else?
Elaine: We don't walk that fast.
Am I a hipster-doofus?
Kramer
This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped.
Salesman
Jerry: We'll give the keys to Elaine.
Elaine: Me?
Jerry: Yeah. You're a woman. Men won't hit a woman.
Elaine: Oh, they won't?
Jerry: Not if they don't know you.
George: What are we gonna do? How are we gonna get out of here?
Jerry: The thing is, even if we go back by the car, and they're not there, how do we know they're not all hiding, waiting for us?
Elaine: Well, they have to give up sometime, they can't stay out there all night.
Jerry: What are we, John Dillinger? I mean, how did this get to be the crime of the century? It's not like we stuck a broomsticks in her spokes and she went flying.