Seinfeld Season 1 Episode 3: "The Robbery" Quotes
Elaine: Look! Look atlook at this! There's a garden.
George: A garden! I can't believe there's a garden!
Jerry: Would I have to get a gardener?
Elaine: Yeah, you can get a gardener.
Jerry: You tip him?
Jerry: How do you get all that wood in here?
Elaine: They deliver it.
Jerry: They deliver wood?
Elaine: Yeah.
Jerry: What da ya tip a "wood guy"?
Jerry: (to Elaine) You would still wanna move in here?
Elaine: Yes! You don't understand. I'm living with Ethel Merman without the talent.
Policeman: Well, Mr. Seinfeld, we'll look into it and, uh, we'll let you know if we find anything.
Jerry: Do you ever find anything?
Policeman: No.
Well, I got caught up watching a soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful.
Kramer
Elaine: You should at least take a look at this place. You shouldn't have to live like this.
Jerry: Like this? You just said you wanted to live here.
Elaine: Well, for me it's a step up. It's like moving from Iceland to Finland.
Two bedrooms? Why do I need two bedrooms? I got enough trouble maintaining activity in one.
Jerry
Elaine: She just got some part in some dinner-theater production of a Chorus Line. So, now all day long she's walking around the apartment singing: (breathless singing) "God, I hope I get it, I hope I get it". (stops singing) She's gonna get it right in her
Jerry: (turns around and sees George) How did you get in here?
George: (does some hand and arm motions)
Policeman: Let's see, that's uh, one TV, a stereo, one leather jacket, a VCR and a computer is that 'bout it?
Elaine: Answering machine.
Jerry: Answering machine. Oh, I hate the idea of someone out there returning my calls.
So I move into the center lane, now I get ahead of this women, who felt for some reason I guess, that she thought that I cut her off. So, she pulls up along side of me, gives me the finger. It seems like such an arbitrary, ridiculous thing to just pick a finger and you show it to the person. It's a finger, what does it mean? Someone shows me one of their fingers and I'm supposed to feel bad. Is that the way it's supposed to work? I mean, you could just give someone the toe, really, couldn't you? I would feel worse if I got the toe, than if I got the finger. 'Cause it's not easy to give someone the toe, you've gotta get the shoe off, the sock off and drive, get it up and (Jerry pretends to drive with one foot in the air, giving the toe.) "Look at that toe, buddy." (He puts his foot down.) I mean, that's really insulting to get the toe, isn't it?
Jerry
How late are the stores open? I'm thinking of maybe of buying a new TV and smash it over my head.
Jerry
