Karen: Is this about you sleeping with Jody?
Sheila: What? No! Yes! You know about that? Honey I'm so sorry I didn't mean to, it was an accident.
Karen: An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina?

• Permalink: Is this about you sleeping with Jody? What? No! Yes! You know ...
• Added: March 25, 2012

Alright you gotta get me out of this car, I'm getting too horned up.

Lip

• Permalink: Alright you gotta get me out of this car, I'm getting too horned...
• Added: March 25, 2012

Here's the thing Fiona, I wanna be with you but I'm not one of those kids you can boss around. I'm sorry but now I gotta go pick up my wife's boyfriend.

Steve

• Permalink: Here's the thing Fiona, I wanna be with you but I'm not one of t...
• Added: March 25, 2012

Also you never use toilet paper on your dick after you take a piss. Tap the end, let the drops fall off, flush.

Lip [to unborn son]

• Permalink: Also you never use toilet paper on your d**k after you take a pi...
• Added: March 25, 2012

Little Hank's being raised by wolves.

Fiona

• Permalink: Little Hank's being raised by wolves.
• Added: March 25, 2012

Ian: Mom's bipolar Debs.
Debbie: Like the North Pole and the South Pole?

• Permalink: Mom's bipolar Debs. Like the North Pole and the South Pole?
• Added: March 25, 2012

Thank you for this food that we are about to eat, thank you for bringing my Monica back to me, and please make my brother clayton burn in all eternity when the time comes. Amen.

Frank [saying Grace]

• Permalink: Thank you for this food that we are about to eat, thank you for ...
• Added: March 25, 2012

Fuck Mother Nature she doesn't have to worry about her vagina getting all stretched out!

Karen

• Permalink: F**k Mother Nature she doesn't have to worry about her vagina ge...
• Added: March 25, 2012

Sometimes it's not worth holding out. Life's too short, why not just give in?

Jody

• Permalink: Sometimes it's not worth holding out. Life's too short, why not ...
• Added: March 18, 2012

You asked if I've managed before, yeah a house full of kids. Taught me how to smack with one hand while giving a pat on the back with the other.

Fiona

• Permalink: You asked if I've managed before, yeah a house full of kids. Tau...
• Added: March 18, 2012

Nancy Grace, there's got to be a missing white girl somewhere!

Sheila

• Permalink: Nancy Grace, there's got to be a missing white girl somewhere!
• Added: March 18, 2012

The best part of making a baby is that you get to have sex while doing it.

Kevin

• Permalink: The best part of making a baby is that you get to have sex while...
• Added: March 18, 2012