Bridgette: I'm going on a date with my dad!
Eliza: Yay! So gross.

Bridgette: I would like a ball.
Augusto: A ball, uh?
Bridgette: A ball, like Khloe Kardashian, a ball.
Augusto: You mean a bowl?
Bridgette: That's what I said, a bowla.
Augusto: That doesn't seem very you.

Bridgette: Your hair looks the exact same, mom.
Tutu: No, you don't even know how different it feels, Bridge.

Larry: Why you say no? Say yes!
Bridgette: Look at him.
Larry: No.

Tutu: Could you help me with where my cheekbones are?
Assistant: Look surprised.
Tutu: Well, that looked like you felt a little nauseous.

Can you hold up your side of the bargain? I'm on your toilet. Get on my toilet.


Bridgette: You said you'd learn to use the toilet today. Do you want to use the toilet?
Larry: No.
Bridgette: Uhhh, I'm a terrible mother. Does that make you feel guilty enough to try?
Larry: No.

Eliza: Bridge, I have to finish getting ready.
Bridgette: Well, you're wearing like four outfits. Why not just pick one of those?

It just chills you out, your mind gets really clear. Maybe you'll find panda.

Eliza's Sister

Woman: My friend is doing her dissertation on mushrooms' effect on depression and anxiety.
Bridgette: Magic mushrooms?

Bridgette: Come on, we gotta do it. It's the last one.
Eliza: No, we don't.

Tutu: Why are you wearing a suit?
Rafi: Because I'm taking Larry to get baptized and Bridge can't stop me.

SMILF Season 1 Quotes

Tutu: I'm a bit worried about the baby with Rafi the relapser.
Bridgette: Mom, he's a great dad, he does bedtime every night.

I'm Bridgette, maybe we could go for a drink later.