South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 3 Episode 14: "The Red Badge of Gayness" Quotes
Al Gore: Wow, there's quite a crowd out there.
Aide: Yeah. It's like the million man march, except there really are a million people out there.
Stan: Ready? 1, 2, 3, 4!
(Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny start playing the flutes and drum as they march. Cartman starts beating the drum.)
Cartman: Yeah! Do you like to rock?! I like to rock! Hello, Baltimore!
Kyle: Cartman, what the hell are you doing?!
Cartman: I'm playing the drum!(He continues to beat the drum.)
Kyle: You're not supposed to beat the drum, you hit it!
Cartman: You don't hit a drum! You gotta beat the (bleep) out of it! (He starts to beat the drum again.) Shut your pie-hole! I'll kick your ass, you (bleep) drum!
President Clinton: Boys, as president of the United States, I wanna commend you for stopping the rebel uprising.
Stan: Don't touch me.
I will not rest until the South have won, and Stan and Kyle are my slaves, because I hate those guys. I hate those guys with every part of my tired Confederate body.
Cartman's Letter
Cartman: Now I believe you guys are going to be my slaves for a month.
Kyle: You cheated Cartman, and the bet was that the South won the Civil War and the South still didn't win the Civil War, fat ass.
Stan: Yeah, too bad you're such a dumb ass in history or you would've known.
Cartman: I hate you guys; I hate you guys so much.
Stan: (after Kenny was killed by a flare) Oh, my god! They killed Kenny!
Grandpa: You bastards!
Kyle: (to Grandpa) Hey!
Stan: You can't just show up to a Civil War re-enactment dressed up like General Lee, fatass.
Cartman: Oh really? I'm pretty sure I just did.
I hate you guys, I hate you guys so very, very much...
</i> Cartman
Mr. Garrison: Hey guys, let's all play a game of grab-ass.
Gerald: What's grab-ass?
Mr. Garrison: We just run around in circles and grab each other's asses.
...and was forced to live off her own feces for several days.
</i> News Anchor
Stan: Give up, fatass! There's over a hundred National Guards down here.
Cartman: Suck my ass!
